4 years, 5 months, and 17 days ago I became a Mom for the very first time. It was one of the happiest days of my life.
Now I'm a Mom to 3 beautiful, unique, and amazing little men.
Their ages are 4, 2, and now 1 year-old, and while I hear the words "you look like you have your hands full," far more times than I can possibly count as I push my grocery cart full of not only groceries, but children, I'm presently weighing my options of whether or not I should make my hands a little more full, or whether my husband should go ahead and get the snip-snip.
The great baby debate began the day after my youngster's first birthday party. The day that he stood, and declared the words Mama, with his grinning smile, and 6 protruding teeth, and - almost took his first step.
Now, he wants to play with his big brothers all of the time, and all they want to do is play all of the time, that has Mommy (me) feeling a little lonely without a baby to rock, and hold. I'm still so young, and just not sure if I'm comfortable with the thought that my little one year-old, going on 4 might be my last little bundle of joy.
Since I was little, I always thought that when I grew up I would have at least 1 boy, and 1 girl. Reality though, seems to say that this scenario simply isn't in the cards.
I know, and am a big believer in that if the baby is healthy, that's all that matters.
But, I'm thinking ahead...5 years, 10 years from now, am I going to look back, and wish that I had of had just 1 more child, just maybe that it might have been a girl.
I feel so selfish in having this thought.
But, when I look at my little men, and their father, and see how close to Daddy that they are becoming - well, it makes me think of how pretty soon, they're going to all want to do Guy Things, and little Ol' Mommy will be left all alone.
Maybe it's because I was so close with my mom, maybe it's because I lost her so early, that I long for that kind of Mother-Daughter relationship. So far, to no avail.
That isn't to say that my little guys aren't the love of my life, or that I love them any less, because I don't - they mean everything to me.
So, hubbie and I talked, and talked, and revisited this do we, or do we not subject over, and over again.
And, I'm happy to announce that we are not only making love for the sake of making love any more! We are trying to make a baby!!!!
Everyone think pink for me, would ya!?
The panties are coming off tonight Baby!!
Mama of Romance
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