Junk in My Trunk

As I bent over to pick up some dirty clothes off of the floor, and head toward the laundry room with them, I catch my husband staring at me.

Of all days, today I look...well, like a slob.

And, I know it.

I don't often just not care what I look like, but every rare occasion I just don't have any gusto left to fiddle with my hair, or get all dressed up.

Besides, I had in mind to tackle a million things around the house, all of which would render me even more dirty, and slobbish looking.

Hubbie is still staring. He doesn't really look like he's happy, sad, mad, annoyed. Just a blank expression.

Straight away, I think to myself, oh gosh he must think I'm gross. Or fat. One or the other.

"What are you looking at?" I ask as he continues to stare.

He says, "Just at the junk in your trunk."

WHAT? Okay, so he does think I'm fat! I think to myself.

"What do you mean, the junk in my trunk?" I ask, now slightly perturbed.

"You know, the junk in your trunk." He repeats.

This conversation is going no where fast.

"Alright, are you saying that I'm fat? Cause you know, if you had 3 kids in 4 years I don't think you'd be looking like a hot skinny super model either." I protest.

He bows his head, and chuckles. "No, no, I think you're pretty, I'm admiring the junk in your trunk."

This still isn't making me feel any better.

"Alright, so you like that my butt is huge, thanks, thanks a lot. That makes me feel much better."

I don't normally get caught up in these "Am I fat? moments."

"No, I don't think you're fat, I'm admiring your junk - you know your boobs, and your snatch." He says.

I burst out laughing.

What!? I can't believe he just said snatch.

"Dear, junk in someones trunk, that means their big butt." I attempt to clarify.

"No, it means privates." He argues.

"No...." and we have a little friendly argument about the meaning of "Junk in my trunk."

When I think about it, the song "I like big butts" comes to mind.

Who knows though with all this lingo that changes practically daily.

I should start a poll for everyone to vote. Does "junk in your trunk" mean the fat in your butt, or your private parts? You tell me, apparently I'm out of the loop, but thankful that my husband doesn't think that I have a huge butt - to my knowledge anyhow.

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Taking a Cue From Halle

Here's what 42 year-old Halle Berry, new Mom of Nahla (born in March) has to say after being deamed the "Sexiest Woman Alive" by Esquire Magazine....

"Sexiness is a state of mind - a comfortable state of being," she says. "It's about loving yourself in your most unlovable moments."

I think that all of us Moms should take a cue from Halle Berry. By all means, I have not got a body like Halle Berry, or any other superstar, as I'm certain that many of us everyday Moms do not sport the superstar physique, but, I totally agree with her.

That even at the most "unlovable moments," if you love yourself, you are capable of being sexy - whether you know it, or not.

I bow down to Halle for getting her great body back in shape in such a speedy manner, and having such kind words to say. If she can do it, then we all can too.


Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Sexy Tip #8 For Moms

Keep It Clean.

What? - I thought that in Sexy Tip #7 For Moms , it was a good idea to enjoy the mess? Are we not being just bit hypocritical here?

No, we are not.

Sure, enjoying a mess is fun, there's nothing quite like a good clean mess.

But, be clean yourself is the point.

Because there is nothing more revolting to the majority of people than someone who stinks, tastes bad, or looks unkept.

I know that I am even guilty myself at times for not taking the 5 minutes I need to have a shower sometimes. Between looking after my 3 kids, our house, and everything else sometimes at the end of the day I'd rather fall into bed than take a shower.

Even though sometimes my husband might not take a shower, which is gross because his job has him sweating all day long, I don't mind.

However, when he is all cleaned up, and even in decent clothes, smelling oh so great, that's a big turn on, and I know that he feels the same about me.

Having good hygiene is a common courtesy that we should all extend to our partners, because without doing so we're saying that we don't care enough about ourselves, or them by taking the time that is needed to care for ourselves.

This should be common sense. If you were blindfolded would you be more attracted to the B.O. smelling man...or the mint fresh, washed one? Hmmm...let me think about that one.

Smelly man/woman go take a jump in the lake, and come back when you are clean.

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Feeling Beautiful - It's Up To You

In spite of the fact that your partner may think that you're beautiful, it's so important for you to feel that you're beautiful as well.

Many women, especially Moms are posed with a challenge after giving birth, of trying to re-establish a healthy relationship with their own bodies again, and to feel truly beautiful.

Sadly, some women don't even feel beautiful to begin with, before they have kids, let alone after.

Regardless, we as Women, and Moms are all faced with this challenge at some point in our lives.

I can remember the day I got home from the hospital after giving birth to my first baby. I was just getting undressed, and about to get into my pajamas when I caught a glimpse of my body in the bedroom mirror.

The horrific image that I saw will forever remain etched in my brain

The skin of my belly drooped to my groin. If I had hair there before, it was hidden undercover of the fold of my stretched belly skin like the saggy chin of a bull dog.

My thighs, and hips emitted bright purple streaks like I got run over by a train on my way home from the hospital.

And, what was worse was that my belly when looking sideways, okay even frontwards, still looked like it had a baby inside of it.

Overall, it didn't help that I was 60 pounds heavier than I had been pre-baby, and that I would still be sporting maternity clothes for months to come.

That, to me was a pivotal point in my life, when I felt that I was at my ugliest.

Three babies later, and still I find it hard to look into the mirror right after giving birth. It wasn't until after my third that I decided to face my fear.

I made the decision to love myself, period.

Standing there in front of that same mirror - with my body looking honestly worse than after the first time that I gave birth, I promised myself I would never again call myself "fat," or "ugly."

I wouldn't move from that spot in my bedroom until I decided that amidst the bulge, the stretch marks, and the jelly-jiggling belly that I would love myself. "As Is."

I don't feel comfortable sporting a garter belt, stockings, thongs, or anything uncomfortably revealing any more (most of the time). Not because I don't look hot to my husband - laugh, laugh, but because it doesn't feel good to me.

The sexy, beautiful me that used to exist before kids, has not disappeared, but rather has just changed - just a bit.

I've come to realize that feeling beautiful is a matter of feeling comfortable, and happy with myself.

And, to my rejoice, my husband finds me even more attractive in the plain white tee shirt, or his boxers and a tank, or even in nothing at all.

Because I feel like I am beautiful, it shines through.

It's so much easier to enjoy sex, to be passionate, and to love making love when you feel beautiful.

Being a woman is an incredibly powerful thing.

The curves, the soft skin, the feminine features.

No reason why being a Mom should prevent you from batting your lashes, or bending so eloquently in front of your partner to pick something off the floor. Or even, reaching over him while he's seated to try to reach for something. All in a flirtatious way.

Females flirt to find a partner. Then comes baby. Task accomplished. And, the flirting stops.

Moms, I say flirt on!

I'm no where near having a head that's about to pop off because of how hot I think I am, but I am making steps forward in loving my body again.

No more beating myself up over it.

Giving birth, having a baby, motherhood - it's all a beautiful thing.

Mother's are beautiful.

Decide you are beautiful, it's up to you.

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Sexy Tip #3 For Moms

Lose the Granny Panties.

Too many of us Moms are guilty of this. I'll even admit that I like to still sport my maternity underwear because they are so COMFY.

For practical reasons, you might not be able to rip out the thong on a daily basis, but try to make it a weekly ritual, like Thong Thursday, even if you throw it on just as you're getting ready to be intimate.

Cost: One pair of sexy undies, unless you already have a pair.

Benefits: Remind your partner, and yourself how sexy you are, and remind each other about the good old days when dressing sexy was something you did more often.

A joke on this subject:

Wife: "Where's the romance??!!! Huh? You used to be so romantic!"

Husband: "It's in your underwear drawer."

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance

xoxo

Finding The Woman Within

As a busy Mom, there are millions of different thoughts that pass through your head every day.

For me it doesn't stop from the time that I wake up, until the time I go to sleep at night.

I wonder if he needs to go potty.
Did I pay that bill yet?
Is it going to rain, or should I take them to play outside?
What is this stickiness all over the floor?
Do I have enough diapers left to last until I go to the store next?
What am I going to make for supper?
I hear the ringing, but where are the phones in this house?
Where is his teddy bear?
I wish they would stop fighting.
When is the Birthday Party again?
Did they get enough to eat?
When is Daddy going to be here!?

And, that's just the beginning of how mentally, emotionally, and physically draining our days as busy Moms can be.

Most of us, including myself wouldn't have it any other way though.

But, that's not to say that sometimes, life doesn't gradually begin to creep up on us, day by day, and all of a sudden we forget who we are, and what we need, let alone what we might want.

We lose ourselves.

Who is she? You might think as you snag a quick glance at yourself in the bathroom mirror.

I used to be such a ____ (sexy, smart, organized, skinny, pretty, etc.)___ woman.

Look at me now.

Who am I?

As you look in the mirror, you can't hide the fact that you haven't showered in 3 days, your hair is a mess, you have no make-up on, your clothes are ratty, there's a stain on your shirt, and a bulge above the waist of your pants.

Geez. So you walk away, and forget it, for now.

Neglecting myself, and my needs makes me feel lousy, unpretty, and unhappy.
The longer you leave it, the harder it's going to be to find, and love that woman inside of yourself again.

Tragically, sooner, or later, if you ignore yourself long enough, it can catch up with you too.

You'll get sick, or depressed, or one day just look back and wish that you would have, could have, or should have.

You might think that you're being the best Mom, and wife that you can be, because you are always putting everyone else first, and yourself last, but you're not.

In fact, you're not doing anyone that you love ANY favors if you aren't looking after, and loving yourself too.

I know I can feel drained, just doing the things that have to get done. At times, stopping to play a game with my kids, or having sex with my husband just feel like they require too much effort.

It's not fair to my kids. It's not fair to my husband. It's not fair to myself.

I'm cheating myself out of the life that I deserve.

It's not good for your body, your heart, or your soul.

I lost my mom at a young age. She always put herself last, went through the motions, and lived each day wishing for the next one to come.

She was alive, but she never REALLY got to LIVE.

I'm not the only one with a story like this.

Love yourself, take the absolute best care of yourself, so that you can love with all of your heart. Be there for those special people in your life for when they need you.

I'm trying to take better care of myself. Every day I take a moment to remind myself of what I need, and want.

Your kids, your husband, and your sex life will thank you.

I'm starting to learn to love myself, flaws and all.

I do it for my children, for my husband, but most importantly, for myself as well.

Time doesn't stop for us, and we can't get it back, so we have to remember to take time for ourselves as well.

It's just a matter of choice.

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo