Fire in My Panties

So this is how it went....


I was awake for 3 full hours in the middle of the night, my 2 year-old decided that he no matter what did not want to stay in his bed.

The only reason I kept trying to put him back to bed was because I was afraid that he might fall down the stairs since he was half-asleep.

After a long, and stressful night, I groggily woke because I had to. My 2 other little ones were wide awake at sunrise, and needed me.

I didn't manage to get everyone out of their pajamas, or myself for that matter, but we all did get some breakfast just before my husband was about to leave for work.


He wasn't quite ready to leave just yet, and he asked me, "is there anything I can do for you Sweetheart? Anything at all?" He seemed to be reluctant to go.


"YES! - if you're going to hang around for a bit, you could please look after the kids for just a half hour so I can get some rest, my head feels like it's going to explode." I plea.


"Sure!" He says.


I'm just tingling with excitement, and love for my husband. What a great guy!

"How about we go back to bed, make love, and then I'll watch the kids?" He continues.

"Well that sounds perfect minus the making love part, someone has to watch the kids." I say.


"Oh, well, I have to get going anyway." He says.


"Well, what about my nap!?" I ask, feeling totally misled, and unimportant.


"I don't actually have time." He says.


No time!?? What happened to his generous offer just seconds earlier, oh wait, I know as soon as sex was taken out of the equation, my Dear husband ran out of time. Well thanks, thanks a lot.

I spent the day in my pajamas, with a frown on my face, feeling so tired that I felt like someone had just pumbled me, and squashed my head between 2 bricks. I thought, "wait until he needs a favor from me! Sure Honey, I'll give you a great big bj, but first.....oh wait, I forgot I don't have any time!"


Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Marriage Tidbits

Here are some great tidbits from some married people, mainly women that I found to be quite profound while reading the article The things no one ever tells you about being married. I found this article over at Canadian Living.

Here were my favourite tidbits:

"If he leaves his socks on the floor on your honeymoon, chances are he is going to leave his socks on the floor on your 50th wedding anniversary." - Shannon, 36, married 10 years

"My only advice is to spend quality time together doing something you both enjoy." - Andrea, 34, married 7 years

"Whether you have been married for 6 months or 60 years, always put 100 per cent into your relationship and respect each other. If you looked at marriage as if both partners had the opportunity to renew the contract every 5 years, would your spouse want to renew?" - Judy, 41, married 18 years

"Remember, you do not love yourself 100 per cent of the time so do not expect to love your spouse 100 per cent of the time either. Seventy-five to 80 per cent will do." - Helen, 59, married 35 years

"Learn the fine art of compromise." - Dave, 57 (Cathy's husband)

"If you never think I’ve had it with him/her and I’m outta here' during your marriage then I suspect you are just not human.” - Jane, 60, married 37 years

If there was one thing that I could say about marriage, it would be....

"Love your partner each day as if their being with you is a gift, and you might never see them again. Laugh every day with them. Play every day with them. Surprise them each day. Love them with all of your heart, never hold back. Before you die, be able to say 'I lived, and I loved' and never have regrets." - Mama of Romance

What would you say? Comment below, and share your words of wisdom on the subject of marriage.

Here's a funny video clip of a ventriloquist on the subject of marriage, there is some foul language, but it is so funny!



Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Me and My Man

Over the past few weeks, I've felt closer than ever to my husband, as both a friend, husband, co-parent, and even sexually.

Why this closeness?

I'm not 100% certain, but think it has something to do with how riding all of the bumps in marriage can have you feeling closer than ever.

I've finally gotten rid of this cold that has been plaguing my family for it seems nearly a month, and feel great.

I'm so glad that everyone visiting Sex Diaries of a Mom was kind to my nervous hubbie who had the courage to write a post. I hope that you all enjoyed it, I laughed so hard as I helped him post it - asking "are you sure you want to write that!?" I cannot believe that he was gusty enough to use the word "dinky." He's a very comical guy. It's all in good fun.

In future, albeit the silly, and sometimes immature words that come from my husbands mouth, and alas your requests, I think he'll post again.


The day that he posted, we left for a little trip, and he was so nervous that you all might be upset, or annoyed, or thought what he wrote wasn't good that the second we got home, he booted up the computer, and checked the comments.

So thanks for being kind to him, he's the type of guy that doesn't talk a lot, especially to other women!

Anyhow, I'm off to hang out with the family today. Look forward to a fun, and productive week. Looks like I'll be blogging away here, there, and every where so stay tuned.



Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Junk in My Trunk

As I bent over to pick up some dirty clothes off of the floor, and head toward the laundry room with them, I catch my husband staring at me.

Of all days, today I look...well, like a slob.

And, I know it.

I don't often just not care what I look like, but every rare occasion I just don't have any gusto left to fiddle with my hair, or get all dressed up.

Besides, I had in mind to tackle a million things around the house, all of which would render me even more dirty, and slobbish looking.

Hubbie is still staring. He doesn't really look like he's happy, sad, mad, annoyed. Just a blank expression.

Straight away, I think to myself, oh gosh he must think I'm gross. Or fat. One or the other.

"What are you looking at?" I ask as he continues to stare.

He says, "Just at the junk in your trunk."

WHAT? Okay, so he does think I'm fat! I think to myself.

"What do you mean, the junk in my trunk?" I ask, now slightly perturbed.

"You know, the junk in your trunk." He repeats.

This conversation is going no where fast.

"Alright, are you saying that I'm fat? Cause you know, if you had 3 kids in 4 years I don't think you'd be looking like a hot skinny super model either." I protest.

He bows his head, and chuckles. "No, no, I think you're pretty, I'm admiring the junk in your trunk."

This still isn't making me feel any better.

"Alright, so you like that my butt is huge, thanks, thanks a lot. That makes me feel much better."

I don't normally get caught up in these "Am I fat? moments."

"No, I don't think you're fat, I'm admiring your junk - you know your boobs, and your snatch." He says.

I burst out laughing.

What!? I can't believe he just said snatch.

"Dear, junk in someones trunk, that means their big butt." I attempt to clarify.

"No, it means privates." He argues.

"No...." and we have a little friendly argument about the meaning of "Junk in my trunk."

When I think about it, the song "I like big butts" comes to mind.

Who knows though with all this lingo that changes practically daily.

I should start a poll for everyone to vote. Does "junk in your trunk" mean the fat in your butt, or your private parts? You tell me, apparently I'm out of the loop, but thankful that my husband doesn't think that I have a huge butt - to my knowledge anyhow.

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Sex Talk for Grown-Ups

How often do you have to have sex in order to be happy in a relationship?

This is a question that leads to an answer that neither my husband, nor I have ever, and may not ever be able to agree upon.

So how important is it that a husband and wife (or partners) be sexually compatible with each other when it comes to the frequency that they have sex?

I don't know. But, I wish I did.

It seems that since the beginning of our marriage - our relationship even, we have never been able to reach a consensus.

I say 5 times a week, and I'm more than happy.

He says once every morning, and once every night - so, 14 times a week, and then he would be happy. But I don't know about that.

It seems that the more he has sex, the more he expects, and the more he wants.

I feel as though I can only do sooo much.

This "Sex Talk" that my husband, and I have had time, and time again has always taken place because sex is something that we disagree on, we argue about, and it's a thorn in our big fat toe called marriage.

Actually, lack of sex in my husband's opinion is what causes the majority of the tension between us. While he says that he is happy, don't ask him if he's happy after a sexless night - he might bite, or rather explode. (This picture would be more appropriate if it read "Beware, Horny Monster.")

He is the most intolerable, cranky, awful person to be around if he hasn't had sex.

Like a Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde. Dr. Love, and Mr. OneEyedMonster.

Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever both be "Happy" in the sex department of our relationship.

The other day, I asked.

I asked what exactly it would take for him to be happy.

Do you know what he said?

"I would be happy if I had sex once in the.....morning, and once at....night.....every day."

Well, what am I supposed to do, lock the kids in their rooms, turn up the radio, and say "yes" to a morning romp?

Am I supposed to sleep all day, while the children trample over my head , toys fly, things break, and poop happens so that I can be awake enough at the end of the day in order to want to have sex?

5 times, 7 times if it's a good week - that's what I feel is realistic.

My husband however, it's like he's on another planet. A planet called Wannabeasinglemanagain.

It hurts my feelings, makes me feel awful inside that I cannot ever satisfy him. That nothing is ever good enough, I'm not good enough.

I told him exactly how it made me feel. Tried to put him in my shoes, asked him how he would feel if I never thought he was good enough, and I reminded him of it each and every day.

He felt badly.

I hope that this sexual imbalance is more caused by our stage in life (3 kids, under 4 years-old, 2 in diapers, 1 still crawling, often waking Mom up in the night) , and not by who we are as individuals. I hope we will outgrow this.

Our Sex Talk went rather well. But, I know it's something that just like how we should give our teens a refresher Sex Talk every now, and again, that we will be revisiting this subject often.

It's the only way that I know of that can allow us to continue to understand each other's needs, feelings, and expectations.

For now, hubbie better learn to love himself a little more, ehhhum. At least until our kids are in school. Otherwise, I'm not sure that our family can tolerate the grumpiness.

Please tell me there's hope for 2 people who love each other to be happy even if their panties are on just a little differently. No my husband does not wear panties. How ever could you presume as much!....neither do I, teeheee. (Too much info, I know.)

That picture, too much info as well - cracks me up, every time!



Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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"D" for Directions Or Divorce

A few days ago, we had planned to all go out as a family, and take our children to see Thomas the Train. It had been planned for a month, and we were all very excited.

My husband had asked me to get directions the day before, but I had just run out of time since I was also busy getting ready for Thanksgiving.

The day for Thomas came, and it was up to me to get everyone packed up, and ready to go. I had arranged with my husband that we were to leave by 11 am at the latest.

He walses through the door at 11:30 am, and wasn't ready yet. Because I had no help, I wasn't either. I manage to call the location of the show for some directions just as we were about to leave.

I should have known when the lady that answered the phone didn't know her exact location, or how to get there from where we would be coming from that the directions she gave were questionable. All she could give me was a street address, and the way to come via a different route.

Finally we leave, in just enough time.

After driving nearly an hour, we have to start using our directions. I tell my husband to get on to the highway, and he says, "which way?"

Neither of us have a clue.

He freaks out. I try to calm him down, but he cannot see past his anger, and frustration.

We have a navigation system in our car. So, I say, "pull over, and we'll enter in the street address."

He pulls over reluctantly. Only, it doesn't recognize the street name, and now we're getting late for the show that cost our family over $120 dollars. Hubbie is not impressed.

We pull off again, a few moments later of driving around aimlessly, and put in another street name that's on the directions. It takes it, only it's a different street, in a different city, and the navigation system has us headed out of town on a highway with no exits.

Now my husband sounds like he is about to kill me, I'm crying so hard that I can hardly see, and the kids are all worked up, worried about Mommy, and not understanding why Daddy is so mad. (If you are wondering, this picture is for illustration purposes only, to demonstrate the mean look on my husband's face, and not his utters.)

Several times, I had asked nicely that he stop yelling, and stop being so furious, but he wouldn't listen.

It was terrible.

He finally made an illegal u-turn, which was extremely dangerous, and we headed back to where we were.

We got to the the show 45 minutes late, right at intermission, and by that time, because of my husband's yelling, and screaming, and my crying, I don't think anyone was really in the mood to enjoy the show.

On the way home, I couldn't speak to him. I was so hurt, humiliated, and upset that he would yell at me like that, especially in front of our kids.

I got directions, and laughing about it now, I think - he never asked me to get GOOD directions!

It was a terrible, unfortunate situation. But one, that none of us should have been blamed solely for, and one that we should have tried to get through as a family.

When we got home, my husband said to me, "I know we need to talk, so come on and lay on the couch with me, and will talk about it."

I said, "I have things to do right now." I did, I had 3 tired, upset kids to put down for a nap, and to unpack everything that we had brought, and okay - I admit, I was avoiding him.

Then he says, "Well, if you really care about our marriage, you'll come and talk. And, if you don't, then you don't care, and maybe you would be happier if we weren't together, and you found someone that made you more happy."

He didn't use the "D" word - DIVORCE, but he might as well have. I hate that.

I mustered "Honey, I don't want to talk to you right now." If he thought it was because I wanted a divorce, well that was his own fault for mentioning it. But, I wasn't ready to talk yet, I was still very hurt.

Afterwards, when the kids were in bed, my husband and I talked. I explained how, and what about the day hurt me so terribly, but he was still being defensive.

It's hard to come to a truce when one person won't let down their guard.

In bed later on that evening, we finally achieved some closure, and it didn't have anything to do with sex.

He layed there beside me, finally dropping his male "I'm always right" shield, and apologized like he meant it. No longer throwing the empty "I'm sorry" words into the air without purpose. He explained why he was sorry, and attempted to empathize - which is what is important in an apology.

He finally admitted that he was out of place losing his cool like that, and that in doing so he only made the situation worse, not to mention completely disrespecting his wife in front of his children, and subjecting them to unnecessary anger. He sounded as though he was ashamed of himself.

At this point, I said "by the way, there is no chance in this world that we will have sex tonight."

There was no way that I could show my love for a man, who had hurt me so badly, and for so long without remorse.

To my surprise, he was absolutely okay with not having sex, in fact, he was worried that we might not ever have sex again.

I explained that I would never have sex with someone who could so completely disrespect, hurt, and treat me the way that he did, who was so mean.

I also explained how earlier, when he told me to come, and talk, and if I didn't that meant that I didn't care about our marriage, that he was being completely unfair.

It was a bleak day in our marriage, a low point for not only our marriage, but for my husbands character as being the great husband that I know, and love.

But, I know that if it weren't for the lows, then I wouldn't appreciated the highs as much, nor would the love that I feel for him be so grand.

He isn't perfect, and for that I am thankful, because neither am I.

I'm not sure if he knew, but I was also very upset that day, because it was the same day 5 years ago that I lost my mom to cancer.

She was heavily in my thoughts as I struggled through the day, and afterwards when I remembered what she would have said:

"What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger."

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Sexy Tip #9 For Moms

Call the one you love.

Pick up the phone, and give them a ring. Surprise them, and talk in a sexy voice.

For many of us, it's been ages since we talk on the phone like we did when we were dating. Now you live together, and in the instance that you're not together, when one is at work, the average conversation has something to do with "Honey, could you pick up ____ before you come home?" Or, "What do you mean that bill didn't get paid!"

While normal, everyday conversations are great, and are essential to keeping the lines of communication open, throwing in a sexy conversation every once, and a while will help to keep the romance alive.

Surprise your partner, by simply calling to say something sweet, or sexy.

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Like A Dog In His Own House

How many words does it take to make your sex drive flatten out to absolutely zilch?

The night before last it took exactly 7.

When after a long day of changing stinky diapers, looking after my kids who were extra fussy, and cleaning up puppy poo, after puppy poo. (What was I thinking when we got not 2, not 3, but 4 dogs?! I must be mad.)

Anyhow, exhausted I lay in bed, still a little sick, and having just fallen asleep.

My husband leaps into bed, strips the covers off me, it's freezing cold, and starts frantically tugging at my pajamas.

Are they on fire? What?

I am awake (now), as the bright bedroom lights are blinding me, and the cold air hits me like a ton of bricks. Slightly irritated, and very awake, I manage to keep my pajamas on, trying not to freeze to death.

The unnecessarily fast, and eager tugging at me wasn't so bad.

What was bad, was when he muttered in a joking fashion the following while wrapping his arms around me, and starting to dry - well, hump my legs from behind as I lay on my side:

"I'm doing it like our dog does." He says.

I'm now being shook frantically in our bed.

Still being shook. What is the plan here anyway?

He was making reference to how our little male dog humps our two female ones. Wow.

What a great come-on.

Come on!??? Do I not deserve just a little romance. Forget romance for a minute I would take plain old politeness.

As the image of our gross little, filthy dog who poops every where is flashing in my mind (I like the dog, but he can be super gross), I quickly get out of bed, and dash for the only place that I can have some privacy - the bathroom.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and okay, forget about privacy, my husband is now sitting on a towel on our bathroom floor not 2 feet beside me as I pee.

He must be frozen I think.

I get it, he's playing the eager puppy card.

Not only have I awoken to a terrible dream where my husband has morphed into a dirty, horny dog, but now he is stalking me around the house, and there is no escape!

My head bowed, hair all a mess in my hands. I lift my head to look at him, and say "Honey, can I please just have a little privacy?"

So he left the room, and I started shaking my head.

He runs back into the bathroom.

"I saw you shaking your head. What's that all about? Are you mad at me or something?" He asks.

I'm now beginning to wonder if my husband has all of a sudden shrunk in age or something. I feel like I'm in a relationship tonight with a nervous, excited teenager who is as smooth as crunchy peanut butter.

"Honey, I just need a minute. Please go back to bed, I'll be up in a minute." I say.

He leaves.

I try to shake off the "I'm so not in the mood, at all, ever, in this century" feeling I am having, as I continue to shake my head.

I meander towards the bedroom, stopping at the stairs, looking up into the darkness.

I say to myself "Okay, I know he wasn't the most romantic man tonight. What am I saying, he was plain immature, yucky, ew, oh man that was the suckiest seduction I've ever experienced. Alright, forget that. Yes, forget the dog thing. No more dog. He's him, my wonderful, handsome, sweet, loving husband. I love him. I'm married to him - I've married a pervert, oh no - I mean, a great man. Okay, I'm going to just go up there, and we'll start over. I can do this. I love him."

I walk upstairs, into our room.

"Honey, don't ever try to seduce me like that again, please. And, when someone says they need some privacy, could you please just allow them the same treatment that you would expect? Thanks."

I got into bed, and he apologized.

I could tell that he felt terrible for being, what he called - "such an idiot."

Those are his words, and mine, I mean - just his, haha.

He morphed back into my husband, and it was all uphill from there.

Fewf.

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Marriage Or Mental Health Dept?

Deep inside, I feel guilty for complaining about my husband - because, I have one.


I know exactly what life can be like as a single Mom, I was raised by one. I knew that it meant that as the child, I had a different kind of relationship with my mom.


It meant that I had more responsibilities, I was expected to be more mature, and that I was part of a team - the team was her, and I.


For her, it meant that all the weight, and all the stress was on her shoulders all of the time, without ceasing.


I know that I am blessed to have such a wonderful husband who cares so much for myself, and for our children, but I think that any woman, any human can only go so long under stress.


For me, just this past week, the last straw was just as everyone in the household got sick, I was at my end.


This was the first time in our entire marriage that I ever yelled at my husband so loud. I am ashamed of it now, but some how, I think it helped him to realize that I simply could not handle the way things were going any more.


Our family sees little of my husband. He leaves often before we get up, and is home seldom for dinner. If he does eat dinner with us, he is gone again until just a few minutes before the kids go to bed. So they see their father maybe 5 minutes a day.


This has been going on for weeks, and weeks. Maybe a month or two. I don't know exactly, all that I know is that I feel just like a single Mom, and I know that I didn't sign up for this. It's felt like an eternity.


When we decided to have a child, 2 children, and then a third - we talked about sharing in on the responsibility.


Because they are 4, 2, and 11 months, and all very busy boys, by the end of the day some days I am ready to just quit - or lose it. As sad as that may sound.

I love my husband, and love my children more than life, more than anything, but I have felt all alone in raising them, and completely overwhelmed.


I can handle a lot. But after not having support for so long in any way, I can understand why some women lose it. So when I yelled at my husband, that was me saying "I'm going to lose it, if things don't change."


You have to understand, that he is self-employed most of the time. So, the hours that he sets - well he sets them. I am well aware that we need money, doesn't everyone. But, I am willing to settle for a whole lot less of it, if it meant that I could have just an hour more with him a day.


My breaking point was when we went to help his Grandmother at her house. The family was there.

She is getting older, and there are certain things that she can't do any more. So, we were all pitching in.


We were about to leave, and everyone was standing around saying Goodbye.


My father-in-law asked why on earth I didn't want to bring the kids out with them to have a bonfire, and camp out.


After hours, and hours of being outside working, my children were falling down tired, and so was I. He hadn't a clue.


My mother-in-law asked "What is she going to do instead?"


My husband responded "I don't know what she does all day."


It wasn't so much what he said, as how he rolled his eyes, and mockingly said it as if he didn't know what I did - like I did absolutely nothing.


I don't think I have ever in our entire marriage even felt so disrespected, and humiliated in front of family members.


His mom ever proceeded to say "Whack." As she imitated smacking him across the head, insinuating that he was out of line.


I left. I was crushed.


Receiving nothing but grief at every turn of myself trying to express how I need my husband, like I was being smacked in the face at each and every turn, I could not believe that he would do such a thing in the presence of others.


I bawled all the way home, my 4 year-old asking "What's wrong Mommy?"


And, what was I supposed to say, as I desperately didn't want to involve my children.


I managed a "Mommy just needs to cry, so that she can feel better."


When my husband got home later on, he wondered why I was upset. He was almost mad at me for not being in a good mood.

I suppose he is upset because he knows that if I'm not happy, we don't always have sex.


I couldn't believe it. He doesn't understand at all. I lost it.


I screamed words at him that explained exactly how I felt. I cannot believe how I sounded, I am truly ashamed - like a crazy person.


He left, not being able to handle the yelling.

When he returned, I had come to a decision. I absolutely had to leave, with the kids.


No kidding, I was done. I needed to go away for a while, and not be any where near him. I couldn't take one more day with his selfish, unsympathetic, oblivious, and almost cruel attitude, and without support.


I explained to him that I planned to go away for 4 days to see his sister, and take a break.


He asked why.


I explained that there was no point in me being here, because not only was he not - but when he was he was mean to me as well.


I was expected to be the quiet little obedient housewife that catered to my husband, and to his needs, while ignoring my own. I felt in a timewarp.


What a low, extremely low point to have reached in our marriage.


I was adamant, and I walked away. He knew that I was serious, and I think for the first time, he realized that everything that I had been trying to say for so long wasn't a joke. I was truly hurt, and truly felt all alone.


When I told him that every time I reached out to him to tell him that I needed him, and that he was mean to me in return, it was just like a slap in the face. I think he for the first time felt sorry.

I can put myself in his shoes. I know that he must feel an incredible weight on his shoulders to provide for his family, to keep everyone that he deals with happy - there probably isn't much left of him to give at the end of the day either.


After this fight, it was the first time that he came to me, and asked me what I needed.

I told him this:


"I need you home for dinner, even if we eat dinner later on in the evening - say 7pm. I need you to stay home after that to help with the boys, to play with them, bath them, and help put them to bed at 8pm. After that, you can do whatever you like. But I need you for that hour. That is what would make me happy."


I have also started helping him with his work while I can.

Now, he gets it. He's been home every night for dinner since, and has been around to help out.


I haven't felt better is so long.

Single Moms, I do not know how you do it!? I admire you, and I admire my own mom.

All that I can say is - I am human. I am grateful that we were able to finally understand each other, and that I have every reason in this world to make our marriage work because I am certain that we need each other.

Marriage isn't perfect. I can remember back to the time when we got married, and went through premarrital counselling - the most important thing we were told was to know each others expectancies of one another.

That's excatly what we have finally established - our expectations.



Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Somethings Are Better Left Unsaid

Ever get into a slightly heated conversation, and wish you hadn't said what you were thinking?

I'm certain that after last night, my husband is wishing that he had of kept his thoughts to himself. And, maybe I do too.

We were sitting at the dinner table, eating a late dinner, because my hubbie was late again getting home.

His job is very demanding right now, and now is the busiest time of the year for him. So for the past few months I have felt like a single parent, except almost worse because I've had to do things for my husband as well as picking up whatever slack he can't handle.

My kids miss their father, and I miss having to share the responsibility of raising 3 little children with someone other than my worn out self.

I made a beautiful supper. Homemade lasagna. Even blueberry pie.

The house was clean, and I was pooped after having worked my butt off all day.

He was telling me about his day, and how things would soon slow down.

As he said that my eyes lit up, an enormous smile spread across my face, and I looked up at him as he continued to eat his dinner. I might as well have been a little puppy excitedly wagging my tail in anticipation of a bone.

I thought to myself "haha....now it's going to be his turn to look after the kids more."

Thinking nothing of it, I proceeded to say "Honey, that's great, because you owe me big time, and you can start helping out more with the kids."

I didn't mean that I wasn't grateful for all the hard work that he's been doing, or that I wasn't ecstatic that all the bills are finally getting paid. I just meant that perhaps he could carry some of the weight when it comes to looking after the kids like he would normally be doing anyway, so that I could finally have a break!

Well, it happened immediately.

He rolled his eyes, and huffed - "yah - I owe YOU."

The bulls of fury have been released, as I'm ready to reach over the table, and grab him by the shirt collar, and scream "YES!!! You do owe me. I've looked after the kids day, and night, and day and night with absolutely NO help for weeks upon weeks!! When was the last time YOU changed a poopy diaper!? Huh? Or, cleaned up puke. Or picked up toys. Or read a story even!? Are you out of your mind!? You need to be their FATHER again!!"

I calmly sit. My eyes starting to give that womanly look - you know the one, when you just know that the woman is extremely mad, so mad that you're scared because you just aren't sure what you can expect she might do next.

I figure, maybe he's misunderstood, I will clarify my words for him....

Ehhhum, "Honey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that you owe me anything, I just meant that it would be nice to have you helping with the kids a little more again, you know, so I can have a bit of a break."

That sounded better.

He still looks annoyed, sitting their without speaking. He is mad at me, I know it. I'm starting to get annoyed. He obviously doesn't get it.

What right does he have to roll his eyes at me anyway? And, that tone, I don't deserve that! I just slaved away all day, for weeks to make everything nice for our family, you'd think he could at least have the decency to speak nicely to me. I'm the mother of his children, the one who keeps everything in order, who makes sure that everything goes as it should. I haven't been mean to him at all. In fact I was in the best of moods until I had to hear him speak!

"What is wrong? Why are you so grumpy?" I said.

And then it was over. The candidacy was finished.

"Well, you're just such a snob." He said.

WHAT!? I'm a SNOB!?

Okay, that's news to me. That hurt. He has gone completely bonkers. I'm now at my end - with him.

I sat in silence for the rest of dinner, other than to talk nicely to my kids, clean things up, bath them, and put them to bed. AGAIN, all by myself.

He went back to work, more.

As we got into bed later that evening. He acted like NOTHING was wrong.

And, again, the same old, same old question arose "can we have sex tonight?"

I looked at him like he was out of his mind, like he was the most daft person on the planet, and said - "No."

I continued typing on my laptop.

"Why not?" He asked.

I contemplated not blogging about this next part, but hey, what the heck.

"No." I repeat.

"Alright, fine then. I'll give you 1000 dollars if you give me a blow-job." He mockingly said.

I cannot believe that he would treat me like a prostitute. Talk about rubbing in the fact that we actually have a little money right now, because I never see him, and he's working so hard. Oh, the nerve.

"No." I repeat. I wonder how many times I have to say the word "no," until he gets it?

"Ah, come on, please." He says, now looking like a little puppy with those big puppy eyes.

Was he not home for dinner? Did he miss something. I do not have the patience to deal with this. And, against my normally better judgement I spoke the words of the age-old woman which I vowed never to use.

"If you don't know, I am NOT going to tell you. Goodnight."

This morning to my glee, he treated me like a Queen. He better. I didn't decide to have 3 kids all by myself, nor did I decide to have to help him out so much without at least being treated with the respect that we both deserve.

Somethings, are ABSOLUTELY better left unsaid. He knows that now, so do I. And, rolling your eyes at someone is not a good plan of action- because that in itself speaks a thousand words, not nice ones. I think he's learned his lesson.

Who am I kidding? Dare I say - he's a man.

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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