Monday, September 15, 2008

What Part of “Now” Don’t You Understand?

It’s been a long , long day.

Okay, that’s putting it mildly. We’re now going on day 5 without taking naps in my household, and I am about to lose my mind.

My 4 and 2 year-old absolutely refused to take a nap, again today.

The result - the following phrases have begun to lose their meaning:

Go to sleep.
Stop doing that.
Get back into bed.
Please be quiet, everyone’s trying to sleep.

Any Mom knows what the repercusions are for a child who is still little when they don’t sleep.

I’ve listened to endless whining, crying, fighting, and general misbehaving for the past week.

Because of the lack of sleep, my children are acting completely out of character, and are reeking havoc in the household.
Mommy…is about to lose it!

So, as you can imagine, when my husband walks through the door, I am so ready to hand over the kids, and say “Take them, they are all yours, I need to have some peace!”

Unfortunately I can’t do that. It’s a busy season for my husband, and he’s working long hours, and sometimes into the night.
But tonight, brings me to the end of my rope.

I thought about it all day, worked everything out in my head as to how I would have to remedy the no nap situation that is the underlying reason that I am feeling so stressed.

I have decided that my 2, and 4 year-old can absolutely no longer share a room, and we need to put a door on my 2 year-olds room so that I can close it at nap time to avoid all the distractions of what lies outside his room; like toys, and trouble.

The moment my husband walked through the door this evening, I explained what was happening, and how I felt. I explained that I really needed him. I needed him to stop what he was doing, and help me by finally hanging the door on our son’s room, and moving a bed into another room so that we can separate the pair of them.

I said, and these are my exact words: “Honey, I love you. I know you are really busy. But - I need you. I am about to lose it. The kids are not listening to me, and they can no longer stay in the same room. They have been jumping on the beds, tearing thins apart, and reeking havoc all over the house while they are supposed to be sleeping. And, because they don’t sleep they are miserable for the rest of the day. I need you to hang a door, and help move a bed. I’m going to bath the kids now, and get them ready for bed while you hang the door.”

My husband says, “yeah, sure.”

I start to run the bath. He is sitting in the office, on the phone. I kindly walk over to him.

“Honey, I need you to hang that door - NOW. The boys are almost ready to get into bed.”

He says, as he covers up the receiver of the phone, “Yeah, okay, I’ll do it.”

He continues to sit there, listening to someone else. Can he not hear me? Does he not get it? The kids are falling over tired, and need to go to sleep, and the sleeping arragements aren't working!

I have the kids ready for bed. It’s bedtime, and he still hasn’t got started doing the job that I asked him to do.

I am trying not to freak right out.

“Honey, when I said NOW, I meant, like right NOW. Could you please do it.”

He starts to get upset with me. “I said I would already.” As he rolls his eyes.

Oh no, he did not just do that. That is it.

So I put the kids to bed, as usual. And, I am trying not to absolutely lose it. From the outside in, I think I’m handling it all very well, reminding myself just to breath, and think about how this will pass.

But, you know. Tonight, I know that my husband is going to ask me something.

A question that I dispise being asked on a good day. I must point out that I normally am not the kind of person who believes in keeping score, but - I am also not the kind of person that likes to feel taken advantage of.

I know that he’s going to ask “Honey, are we going to have sex tonight?”

And, do you know what I'm want to say?

“What? Now?” As I roll over, cloe my eyes, and mumble, “oh yah, sure,” and go to sleep.


Mama of Romance

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Kelly said...

ooh, payback is a bitch and you do it so well!!! i loved reading this! and i'm making it my featured post on The Neurotic Mom! said...

Bless your heart! I hope he hangs that door for you soon! And I hope the little darlings get their naps straightened out. I know what it's like when a kid won't take a nap. Nightmare.

Anonymous said...

My husband also has a huge problem with the concept of "now". I don't ask for much, nor do I ask often, so when I DO ask, I really expect the help.

However, he seems to feel that his stress at work is far less than my stress at home. He hasn't quite put together the actions = consequences thing yet. Someday maybe he'll realize that I'm far more sexually responsive when he meets my needs as well.

Anonymous said...


I meant to say "...stress at work is far MORE than my stress at home."

Clearly I've lost my mind.

J said...

I would attempt to move the bed and hang the door by myself, purposely making a loud ruckus, hoping i break my back so my husband will feel guilty for not helping. lol Unfortunately it never turns out that way...usually I end up doing the job successfully without his help.

LdybugSammi said...

just tell him no lovin till that door is up! I bet it gets done quick!

CENA @ My 'M' Spot said...

OMG i hate it when my kids don't nap and i can't even imagine 5 days in a row! i love the way you handled the sex request. perfect!

Chantele said...

You poor thing. Can't you just duck tape the kids to the bed to prevent them from getting up when they are supposed to be napping? I mean, sure, they will whine for a little while but soon they will give up and just fall asleep from shear exhaustion. LOL! Ok, well, it sounded good in theory but the dept of child welfare might not agree. LOL! You know, that duct tape is good for lots of taping a line down the center of your bed and telling your hubby not to cross it until he hangs that door. It could also be used to duct tape his "jollies" in place. I guarantee he won't be asking for any lovin after he has to pull that tape off! LOL!

Seriously girl, what you should do is ask a neighbor to come hang your door for you (preferably a young, handsome one) so when your hubby comes home and sees the door hung he will ask if you had any problems. You will then say "No, no problems at all. {Insert name of sexy helper here} took time out of his busy day to help me since my own husband didn't have time to get it done." Yeah, that will definitely get the point across.

The Mom said...

Kelly...Well thank you Kelly! What an honour, I love your blog!

Laura...Thanks Laura, and he did, things are much, much better now! Thank goodness., so true. I knew what you meant, I hear yah!

J...I do attempt many things on my own, but this crosses the line as to what I am capable of doing unfortunately, at least without doing more damage than good. Thanks!

Samantha...It's done! WOOHOO now we can celebrate. Thanks!

Cena...I don't think my husband did. Thanks for the comment.

Chantele...LOL - you are totally hilarious! Love the neighbor idea, except I have no cute ones. They are all my grandpa's age! Thanks for your funny, sincere, and much appreciated comment!

Linda said...

We've started defining "soon" and "now" in our house.

Do you mean 15 minutes soon or 3 hours soon?

It's helped him understand that I'm asking for real help and make that commitment to give it.

It's helped me not to be all over him when he stretches the limits of "soon" because I have a definite deadline of when it'll get done. If it doesn't get done, I have a new opportunity to nag.

Melanie said...

I just give my kids a choice...Lay down and take a nap OR here is a tooth brush for the bathroom (and yes my 2 year old hated it)! Now when I say lets all have a "cat" nap they gladly lay down!

Melanie said...
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