Monday, September 8, 2008

Feeling Beautiful - It's Up To You

In spite of the fact that your partner may think that you're beautiful, it's so important for you to feel that you're beautiful as well.

Many women, especially Moms are posed with a challenge after giving birth, of trying to re-establish a healthy relationship with their own bodies again, and to feel truly beautiful.

Sadly, some women don't even feel beautiful to begin with, before they have kids, let alone after.

Regardless, we as Women, and Moms are all faced with this challenge at some point in our lives.

I can remember the day I got home from the hospital after giving birth to my first baby. I was just getting undressed, and about to get into my pajamas when I caught a glimpse of my body in the bedroom mirror.

The horrific image that I saw will forever remain etched in my brain

The skin of my belly drooped to my groin. If I had hair there before, it was hidden undercover of the fold of my stretched belly skin like the saggy chin of a bull dog.

My thighs, and hips emitted bright purple streaks like I got run over by a train on my way home from the hospital.

And, what was worse was that my belly when looking sideways, okay even frontwards, still looked like it had a baby inside of it.

Overall, it didn't help that I was 60 pounds heavier than I had been pre-baby, and that I would still be sporting maternity clothes for months to come.

That, to me was a pivotal point in my life, when I felt that I was at my ugliest.

Three babies later, and still I find it hard to look into the mirror right after giving birth. It wasn't until after my third that I decided to face my fear.

I made the decision to love myself, period.

Standing there in front of that same mirror - with my body looking honestly worse than after the first time that I gave birth, I promised myself I would never again call myself "fat," or "ugly."

I wouldn't move from that spot in my bedroom until I decided that amidst the bulge, the stretch marks, and the jelly-jiggling belly that I would love myself. "As Is."

I don't feel comfortable sporting a garter belt, stockings, thongs, or anything uncomfortably revealing any more (most of the time). Not because I don't look hot to my husband - laugh, laugh, but because it doesn't feel good to me.

The sexy, beautiful me that used to exist before kids, has not disappeared, but rather has just changed - just a bit.

I've come to realize that feeling beautiful is a matter of feeling comfortable, and happy with myself.

And, to my rejoice, my husband finds me even more attractive in the plain white tee shirt, or his boxers and a tank, or even in nothing at all.

Because I feel like I am beautiful, it shines through.

It's so much easier to enjoy sex, to be passionate, and to love making love when you feel beautiful.

Being a woman is an incredibly powerful thing.

The curves, the soft skin, the feminine features.

No reason why being a Mom should prevent you from batting your lashes, or bending so eloquently in front of your partner to pick something off the floor. Or even, reaching over him while he's seated to try to reach for something. All in a flirtatious way.

Females flirt to find a partner. Then comes baby. Task accomplished. And, the flirting stops.

Moms, I say flirt on!

I'm no where near having a head that's about to pop off because of how hot I think I am, but I am making steps forward in loving my body again.

No more beating myself up over it.

Giving birth, having a baby, motherhood - it's all a beautiful thing.

Mother's are beautiful.

Decide you are beautiful, it's up to you.


Mama of Romance

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kristleharrison said...

This is oh so true, and something I'm trying to instill in myself after having 2 babies by c-section. My stomach will never be the same again, but I think it's gonna be okay. Thanks for the great words! I love your blog and think it's something that EVERY mom should be reading! :)

Sensuous Wife said...

I started out writing a comment, and ended up writing a post.

Cheers to you, Mama of Romance!