Dry Spells

**Weep, weep** you can hear from my husband as he walks out the door to work. Man, he has it bad. Can you believe it's been 3 full sexless days for him? He must think he's practically a virgin, or something. I am certain, that as married men, and women we all go through a "dry spell" every once, and a while when it comes to not having sex, or giving oral sex.

For us, it's been like 3 days, and already my husband is pouting, complaining, and exaggerating that it's been weeks, almost a month - and I thought I was the one who has succumbed to memory loss after having 3 little ones.

What I would like to know, and what I'm sure many women would like to know is what is the typical length of a "dry spell" in a marriage? Is it a week? A month? A year?


If everyone would share their experiences as married women, and men that have children that would be great. Perhaps myself, and many other women could give our husbands who are fathers, a reason to simmer down after only missing a night or 2! After all, sometimes there is more to life than sex - right?

Although, I know my husband would disagree.

The original version of this cartoon pic is shaking, and it's quite funny, I found it at www.cartoons4fun.com



Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Fire in My Panties

So this is how it went....


I was awake for 3 full hours in the middle of the night, my 2 year-old decided that he no matter what did not want to stay in his bed.

The only reason I kept trying to put him back to bed was because I was afraid that he might fall down the stairs since he was half-asleep.

After a long, and stressful night, I groggily woke because I had to. My 2 other little ones were wide awake at sunrise, and needed me.

I didn't manage to get everyone out of their pajamas, or myself for that matter, but we all did get some breakfast just before my husband was about to leave for work.


He wasn't quite ready to leave just yet, and he asked me, "is there anything I can do for you Sweetheart? Anything at all?" He seemed to be reluctant to go.


"YES! - if you're going to hang around for a bit, you could please look after the kids for just a half hour so I can get some rest, my head feels like it's going to explode." I plea.


"Sure!" He says.


I'm just tingling with excitement, and love for my husband. What a great guy!

"How about we go back to bed, make love, and then I'll watch the kids?" He continues.

"Well that sounds perfect minus the making love part, someone has to watch the kids." I say.


"Oh, well, I have to get going anyway." He says.


"Well, what about my nap!?" I ask, feeling totally misled, and unimportant.


"I don't actually have time." He says.


No time!?? What happened to his generous offer just seconds earlier, oh wait, I know as soon as sex was taken out of the equation, my Dear husband ran out of time. Well thanks, thanks a lot.

I spent the day in my pajamas, with a frown on my face, feeling so tired that I felt like someone had just pumbled me, and squashed my head between 2 bricks. I thought, "wait until he needs a favor from me! Sure Honey, I'll give you a great big bj, but first.....oh wait, I forgot I don't have any time!"


Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Words from Mr. Romance

Some things that you might want to know about me, Mr. Romance (the name my wife, not me chose. You can call me whatever you want, but don't call me late for having sex.)…

Oh, and before I get started - I'm supposed to say if anyone is squeamish about sex, please come back again another time.

I like boobies, and I like pussy cats. These are some of the many things that I like about sex. I just like having sex because it feels good on my dinky. One thing that I really miss aside from the occasional frequent lack of sex, is nursing from my wife’s breasts, which is something that she won’t let me do anymore. I like nipples, and having them in my mouth. One of my favourite activities is giving my wife oral sex, but it’s nice to do so when she keeps herself neat (no clitty litter.) I also like admiring my wife when’s she’s naked.

About my sex life…

Sex life, hmmmm, I wish that I had one, that I could have sex right now, but instead I‘m writing this post for my pretty wife. I like what it says in a picture on her blog that “bad sex is better than a good day at work.” I’d take sex over work, or anything any day. Unfortunately, I have sex about an eighth as much as I would like to now that I’m married, and have 3 kids. But, I like having little mini versions of myself running around so it‘s all good. I feel that everybody should have 5 orgasms per day. It’s true. That’s how I feel.

Inner Desire…

Part of me wishes that I could be a porn star, I uh wouldn’t want to lose my dignity though. And, I wouldn’t want to make my wife sad. If I was a porn star I could only have sex with my wife. So, I settle for a home made movie now and again - hopefully again.

When asked “If you could tell all the Moms out there one thing, what would it be?” I say - give blow jobs, and give them often. Don’t be afraid to be on top sometimes.

When asked “How do you keep the romance alive?” I say - talk dirty, don’t keep your hands to yourself, and flashing.

When asked “How do you cope with the sometimes lack of sex?” I say - Well, I uh, use my energy on other things like work, playing with the kids, or working on the house. But, when I’m distracted by my wife, whom I’m very attracted to, I find it difficult to not want to have sex.

And, I really want to know when my wife is going to host a wet t-shirt contest on her blog, I’ll take the pictures. (Of my wife, of course.) No offense intended with this picture, I just think it's funny, and it's not my wife by the way.

Hooray for boobies!

Can I have sex now?

Mr. Romance

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*R-Rated Post* On Oral

Any squeamish Moms out there, or underage people, please leave this blog now - come back tomorrow when I've posted something a little less racy. I won't be showing any r-rated pictures, but will be grazing on a subject that might have some people feeling uncomfortable, or offended. So if you don't think you can handle it, or you shouldn't be reading this, then see you later.

_________________________

It's a subject that I'm almost certain many of us Moms just don't talk about. For one, many of us don't have people in our lives to talk to about it, and for another, sometimes even if we did, we don't get the chance with our kids around nearly all of the time.

You know, to talk about whatever pops up.

Well, I can remember the very first time that I ever gave a man oral. It was traumatic for me, and so briefly, for you to understand, here's how it went:

I was kissing a boyfriend at the time, and not at all ready for this kind of thing, as he said "I want you to lick my c#&k."

Well, being the shy, sweet little young woman that doesn't swear, that blunt, slightly rude question made me gasp, blush, something curdled in my stomach, and the entire thought of doing that just grossed me out.

Between then, and now I went years with braces on my teeth - anyone who has had them knows that they can cause quite the problem when delving in the field of oral sex. Yikes.

Anyhoo, now that I'm without those mental metal obstructions, am married to a man that I truly love, and know that oral sex is something that is so crucial exciting for him, I want to try my best to please.

But, to be honest - part of me is still a little squeamish. Man do I feel like a baby.

Another part of me is exhausted even by the image of my head bobbing up and down at the end of the day. My head generally only wants to make 1 final motion when the day is through - and that my friend is falling straight back to hit the lovely, cushiony pillow on my bed.

How often should a woman (a Mom) give her partner oral sex?

I hardly have time to floss my teeth, to sit down to eat, to remember to wear deodorant. So how often should I be stroking the Ol' Enchilada with my tonsils, I mean mouth?

And, does anyone ever have trouble doing it!?

Please, if you are going to comment - keep your comments clean. Thank you!



Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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So How Ofter Are Moms Having Sex?

Not surprisingly, Moms don't have sex all that often. So it's nice to know that when my husband whimpers that he's not getting enough action, I can say with confidence:

"Well Dear, we're married, and have 3 small kids, the reality is that we're not going to have as much sex as we used to, not for now anyway."

It's good to know about other's normalcies, not because everyone should be "normal," but because it can certainly help to minimize the amount of guilt that you might feel for not being good enough.

We often think that normal is better than what we are, setting ourselves up for not being happy with ourselves.

It can also give you a sense of peace, knowing that you're not the only one in your situation.

Moms, rest assured, that if you're not having sex a whole lot right now, you're not the only one.

So, here are the results to the poll.

"How Often Do You Have Sex?"

64% of Moms are having sex about 0-3 times a week

26% of Moms are having sex about 3-5 times a week

5% of Moms are having sex about 5-10 times a week

And, 2% of Moms are having sex about 10 + times a week

If anyone is interested, I fit into 3 of the 4 categories, depending on the week. But, I checked off 5-10, although my husband begs to differ! He thinks we belong in th 0-3 category, lol.

Why is it that men always think that they get less than they actually get, and they always want more, more, more - it's because they are MEN.

Maybe I ought to keep score, but I'm not that kind of a gal. We'll just have to agree to disagree.

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Sexy Tip #5 For Moms

Think Condiments.

An easy, and inexpensive way to add a little excitement, and taste to your sex life is as easy as opening up your fridge, or pantry door.

My pick...chocolate of course. Chocolate mousse that is. Just add milk, and it's a yummy chocolaty goodness that easily sticks to most surfaces, and can be even more easily licked off.

What I like most about it - it's not too sweet, low in calories, sugar, you don't easily get tired of the taste, and....oh there's just so many reasons why I love it.

Just think - it can make even the grossest of things taste good!

Cost: a few dollars.

Benefits: Add tons of tasty fun to your sex life, and not to your waist line. show how much you love your partner, and satisfy your cravings for chocolate at the same time.

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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