Saturday, August 9, 2008

Finding The Woman Within

As a busy Mom, there are millions of different thoughts that pass through your head every day.

For me it doesn't stop from the time that I wake up, until the time I go to sleep at night.

I wonder if he needs to go potty.
Did I pay that bill yet?
Is it going to rain, or should I take them to play outside?
What is this stickiness all over the floor?
Do I have enough diapers left to last until I go to the store next?
What am I going to make for supper?
I hear the ringing, but where are the phones in this house?
Where is his teddy bear?
I wish they would stop fighting.
When is the Birthday Party again?
Did they get enough to eat?
When is Daddy going to be here!?

And, that's just the beginning of how mentally, emotionally, and physically draining our days as busy Moms can be.

Most of us, including myself wouldn't have it any other way though.

But, that's not to say that sometimes, life doesn't gradually begin to creep up on us, day by day, and all of a sudden we forget who we are, and what we need, let alone what we might want.

We lose ourselves.

Who is she? You might think as you snag a quick glance at yourself in the bathroom mirror.

I used to be such a ____ (sexy, smart, organized, skinny, pretty, etc.)___ woman.

Look at me now.

Who am I?

As you look in the mirror, you can't hide the fact that you haven't showered in 3 days, your hair is a mess, you have no make-up on, your clothes are ratty, there's a stain on your shirt, and a bulge above the waist of your pants.

Geez. So you walk away, and forget it, for now.

Neglecting myself, and my needs makes me feel lousy, unpretty, and unhappy.
The longer you leave it, the harder it's going to be to find, and love that woman inside of yourself again.

Tragically, sooner, or later, if you ignore yourself long enough, it can catch up with you too.

You'll get sick, or depressed, or one day just look back and wish that you would have, could have, or should have.

You might think that you're being the best Mom, and wife that you can be, because you are always putting everyone else first, and yourself last, but you're not.

In fact, you're not doing anyone that you love ANY favors if you aren't looking after, and loving yourself too.

I know I can feel drained, just doing the things that have to get done. At times, stopping to play a game with my kids, or having sex with my husband just feel like they require too much effort.

It's not fair to my kids. It's not fair to my husband. It's not fair to myself.

I'm cheating myself out of the life that I deserve.

It's not good for your body, your heart, or your soul.

I lost my mom at a young age. She always put herself last, went through the motions, and lived each day wishing for the next one to come.

She was alive, but she never REALLY got to LIVE.

I'm not the only one with a story like this.

Love yourself, take the absolute best care of yourself, so that you can love with all of your heart. Be there for those special people in your life for when they need you.

I'm trying to take better care of myself. Every day I take a moment to remind myself of what I need, and want.

Your kids, your husband, and your sex life will thank you.

I'm starting to learn to love myself, flaws and all.

I do it for my children, for my husband, but most importantly, for myself as well.

Time doesn't stop for us, and we can't get it back, so we have to remember to take time for ourselves as well.

It's just a matter of choice.

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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2 comments:

Sensuous Wife said...

I completely agree!
This post really resonated with me. I found your blog from Cheryl Phillips and I'm really enjoying reading tonight. It's amazing what a little self care will do your whole outlook. Not to mention your libido.

sweetlexie520 said...

Wow, this really got me too. My mom died suddenly last year when DS was only 4 mo old. Shortly after that I began to feel like a human "dispenser." Baby needs rocked - here you go. DH wants sex - here you go. Dishes need done - here you go. I was lucky to get 2 showers a week b/c I was just trying to get through - to what? I don't know, but it never came. I realized that after my mom's death while rocking my son to sleep one night that I felt like no one was there to rock ME to sleep (figuratively), I was hurting and tired so DH and I had some honest talks. Things are better now, but I still have to remember to respect myself so that I'm ME and not just DS's mom. And now I get at LEAST 3 showers a week, lol!
P.S. - I LOVE your blog - thank you for putting it all out there!!