Monday, August 18, 2008

Better Than a Blow-Up Doll

Over the weekend, we went hiking, hiking, and hiking.

Boy, was it exhausting.

I had my 10 month-old on my back, and at times carried my 2 year-old, while my husband carried our 4 year-old that got stung by a bee, and all of our gear.

We had a great time, and spent some much needed family time together, but when we got home I could hardly move.

I was pooped.

My husband always asks, "you pooped?"

And, I say, "No Dear, I didn't poop. I am pooped. As in, I'm tired."

Like I'm the only one who's ever heard this expression before.

Anyway, after our hiking trip, I was exhausted. We put the kids to bed, and I barely got into bed myself.

The moment my body hit the bed, I could no longer move, and hardly speak. My body felt like it weighed a million pounds. I was that tired.

As a Mom, there's lots of reasons to get this tired.

Whether it's staying up all night with the kids, being sick yourself, being up with sick kids, getting hurt, or just doing everything that you always have to do as a Mom, sometimes at the end of the day you feel like you can no longer function.

Well, that was me.

Some where is my cloudy, sleepy head I wished that my husband would just kiss my forehead, cover me up with a blanket, and let me sleep.

My husband however, was bright-eyed, and bushy-tailed, and I could tell by the look on his face that he wasn't going to stop bothering me until we had sex. He would toss, and turn all night long, unable to sleep, and keep me awake if he didn't do something about his er - something.

I would settle for getting the sex over with so I could sleep.

I don't mean that he did this in a bully-fashion, more like an excitable dog humping your leg kind of fashion. The other would NOT be acceptable under any circumstances.

He was such a great husband, and father all weekend, he just is - if I could move, or anything I would want to express my love for him.

Instead, I just slurred, "I'm sorry Dear, I can't move, love you though."

He never heard the magic word "NO, so he said, "does that mean we can have sex then?"

If he were a dog, he would be salivating, and panting at the thought that there was a tiny chance he was going to get some meat.

"Whatever." Was all that I could muster, just about to fall asleep.

So he went ahead, and I said to him again that I was sorry that I could do nothing, but lay there.

And, do you know what he said!?

"Well, at least you're better than a blow-up doll."

I think that he must have been thinking out loud during that moment, but man did I wake up the instant that I heard those words!

He's never used a blow-up doll, nor does he have one, and I felt bad until that instant - what a thing to say!

Talk about all romance going out the window...sometimes, okay - always I wish that he would keep these kinds of thoughts to himself.

Whatever happened to romance, etiquette, chilvary, being a gentleman, and all those other qualities from the good Ol' days?

I guess they disappeared along with writing letters to people, spending Sunday's visiting people, going to dances, and all that other good stuff from way back when.


Mama of Romance

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Mitch McDad said...

Great post. Glad i found your blog. Speaking for our team--we say really stupid stuff sometimes. Not me of course, just those other guys. :)

The Mom said...

'You pooped?' had me rolling! I swear men hear what they want to hear LOL!! Shoot taking a 10 month old, a 2 and a 4 year old hiking is insanely tiring, I can see why you needed to sleep!

Petra said...

I think your husband and my husband went to the same school for foreplay!

The Mom said...

Mitch...Thanks for the comment, glad to hear I'm not the only one. Sex Diaries of a Mom

The Mom...yes, we are both "the Mom" - glad I had you laughing. And, yes 3 kids, 4 & under, hiking...absolutely exhausting! Sometimes just regular days are exhausting..what can I say, I'm a sucker for punishment. Love them to bits. Thanks for visiting! ;) Sex Diaries of a Mom

Petra...Yah maybe they did...I'm sure they were from the graduating class of oh - about a million other men, all of who don't get what a woman wants (most of the time anyway, no offense) ;) Thanks for stopping by! Sex Diaries of a Mom

Ann said...

WHY do they speak? Why?
What makes them think that saying certain words out loud is a good idea?
To be honest though, I'm at the other end of the spectrum. My husband seems to be running out of mojo and I want to make a call to the doctor's office right away! Let's get those vitamins going! Let's start those exercises!
The mid-Forties can be tough.
(Sad Ann :-< )

Bec said...

I had two babies in 12 months so as you can imagine time for the nicer things in life with my hubby are few and far between. Not to mention me being tired with two babies. One night I was in the same frame of mind as you. All I wanted to do was sleep, but I knew I would have poked and proded all night if I wasn't accommodating. Instead of the "Better than a blow up doll comment", I got, It's ok you can be a dead star fish AGAIN if you want to!!" OMG!! Not only was that insulting he said AGAIN!!! I could not recal when I had played a dead star fish the first time. LOL!! I would have been happy with what you got!! LOL Men!! They have NO IDEA!

Melanie said...

It's just you and your hand tonight..(Pink sings it). Sorry first thing that came up (no pun intended). Turning over does not help for me either.

Side note..I do love my husband, it's just so nice (I have said before) to not be alone...