I'm Back!

After what has been a whirl-wind week of ups, and downs, being crazy busy, and completely calm, I'm back.

Thanks for being patient with me!

At the beginning of last week I was 100% certain that I was pregnant, and had been for a few weeks. I was having all of the symptoms, and 1 out of 4 tests read a slight positive (for anyone who does not know what I mean, it means that one of the lines in the + sign was fainter than the other one.)

Anyhow, I made the best decision in the world to keep myself occupied with life, and to finish all that I have been putting off, and also in not letting myself get my hopes up, because I am not pregnant ;( anymore.

It's okay though, I'm alright with it now. I was, I'm certain, but only a few weeks along, so it could have been worse.

This has never happened to me before, and was shocking at the time. I started spotting ever so lightly on the day of my period, and then nothing for 4 days. On the 4th day, I began spotting again, all day. I thought perhaps this was normal, because some women spot slightly the first month that they are pregnant. It certainly wasn't anything near my normal heavy, aweful period. Until all of a sudden, it was the worst I've ever had.

Not to gross anyone out, but I feel it good to share the experience, that I just knew I was pregnant, because it looked as though there was a little more than just my "period" - if you know what I mean. Too much information, I know, but thought it good to share anyway.

I was devastated the day this happened, heart broken really, but then I remembered all the women that I know who have gone through worse, and I looked around at my beautiful family, and I knew it was going to be alright. Everything happens for a reason.

So, I have spent the week, with cramps, and aweful feelings, but have come to make a great decision in my life. I am not going to continue trying to get pregnant right away any longer, I want to give myself a bit of a break, and I'm going to do one of the last things that I've been meaning to do but have kept on the back burner in my life. I'm going to lose weight! In fact, I've already lost 5 pounds, and I'm on a great new diet, and exercise program which has really been all about eating healthier, and eating the right amounts of certain types of foods. An overall bettter lifestyle change.

My goal is to lose all my baby weight from my previous 3 babes, by
March. I have 35lbs to go.

When I reach my goal, I plan to go on a holiday with my hubbie to Florida if, and when I succeed - and without the kids, then we're going to start trying again!!!

I'm so excited about it, and it feels right.

I feel like I should have known that what I was doing with trying ti have a baby right away, was just not the right time for our family - 9 months from now, is not a great time for our family to have a new baby, and a year from now seems a whole lot better timing for us. That way there will be no stressing, and no rush.

So I'm happy to report that I'm happy. I'm glad I took the break that I needed (some other things in my life just had to take priority for a change,) and that I'm back, whether you like it, or not, you're stuck with me talking about good ol' sex, and motherhood!!

Now that my period is FINALLY over, man it was horrible, tonight is going to be made into a romantic, fun, and passionate one for hubbie, and I.

After almost a week and a half without sex, I tell you even little ol' me is getting kinda hungry for some lovin'!

Well, talk at you all later, thanks again for being so supportive, you gals- and guys are all so amazing!



Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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If I'm Not Pregnant, I'm Out of My Mind

Alright Ladies, and Gentlemen, I think - I THINK that I am pregnant. After having 3 children to date, you'd think that I would just know.

And, after just recently taking 4 pregnancy tests, if I'm not pregnant, I swear that I'm losing my mind.

The symptoms:

Cravings of abnormally fatty foods that I seem willing to fight my 2 year-old for, inclination to clean like a mad woman and finish all the jobs that I've started, an enormous gut that appears to either be brought on by years of drinking beer (I hate beer) - OR a little wee baby growing inside of me, pants too tight, insatiable urge to pee, uncomfortable when trying to sleep, either really happy - OR really sad and can't stop crying, easily agitated, and the list goes on of all the little quirks that I've been feeling.

The results of my 4 pregnancy tests by the way have been a clear "-" which if you have ever taken one, you'll know means that I am NOT pregnant. Except....1 of them, it was the 3rd one that I took....there was an itty bitty, faint "" symbol behind the "-" that was almost completely indiscernible. Now I faithfully read the instructions, and they claim that even the faintest mark of a "+" means that you're pregnant, even if one of the lines is substantially fainter than the other one.

I tell you, all this anticipation, and uncertainty are driving me nuts. Really, I just want to know already.

I normally get my period tomorrow - the very first of the month, but no signs that it is coming as of yet. I realize that all these symptoms seem to be coming early - but everything seems to happen sooner as far as I'm concerned after the more kids you have.

So, here I am. Pregnant, maybe, maybe not, maybe. If only I had a field of daisies to pluck the pedals out of to buy some time. I'm twiddling my thumbs, oh my gosh you have no idea!!!

So here's the thing. In the past 2 days I have made an ENTIRE quilt to pass the time (actually to keep my mind completely off of the pregnancy subject), I've done 26 loads of laundry, changed 5 beds, vacuumed, done 7 loads of dishes, you get the point, baked 2 batches of chocolate cookies, and even made homemade pizza.

But, alas, I guess I'm brought to one conclusion - that only time will tell, and I most certainly do not want to get my hopes up.

Last thing that I wanted to say: that I feel a real urge to be honest right here, right now. I do not like mean people, at all. And, I want to say (because this is my blog, and I can say whatever I feel like) that if you are going to be mean when you comment, don't bother. You're wasting your breath, and I won't waste my time acknowledging you. I figure that mean people must be bored, or sad. I don't have the time in my life to be either, in fact I love all the people that I've met thus far blogging, and enjoy sharing my little bit of my life with the world, no matter how crazy it is sometimes. So get lost all of you mean people, and write a blog won't you! It's a great way to vent, in your own domain, literally.



Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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