Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I'm Back!

After what has been a whirl-wind week of ups, and downs, being crazy busy, and completely calm, I'm back.

Thanks for being patient with me!

At the beginning of last week I was 100% certain that I was pregnant, and had been for a few weeks. I was having all of the symptoms, and 1 out of 4 tests read a slight positive (for anyone who does not know what I mean, it means that one of the lines in the + sign was fainter than the other one.)

Anyhow, I made the best decision in the world to keep myself occupied with life, and to finish all that I have been putting off, and also in not letting myself get my hopes up, because I am not pregnant ;( anymore.

It's okay though, I'm alright with it now. I was, I'm certain, but only a few weeks along, so it could have been worse.

This has never happened to me before, and was shocking at the time. I started spotting ever so lightly on the day of my period, and then nothing for 4 days. On the 4th day, I began spotting again, all day. I thought perhaps this was normal, because some women spot slightly the first month that they are pregnant. It certainly wasn't anything near my normal heavy, aweful period. Until all of a sudden, it was the worst I've ever had.

Not to gross anyone out, but I feel it good to share the experience, that I just knew I was pregnant, because it looked as though there was a little more than just my "period" - if you know what I mean. Too much information, I know, but thought it good to share anyway.

I was devastated the day this happened, heart broken really, but then I remembered all the women that I know who have gone through worse, and I looked around at my beautiful family, and I knew it was going to be alright. Everything happens for a reason.

So, I have spent the week, with cramps, and aweful feelings, but have come to make a great decision in my life. I am not going to continue trying to get pregnant right away any longer, I want to give myself a bit of a break, and I'm going to do one of the last things that I've been meaning to do but have kept on the back burner in my life. I'm going to lose weight! In fact, I've already lost 5 pounds, and I'm on a great new diet, and exercise program which has really been all about eating healthier, and eating the right amounts of certain types of foods. An overall bettter lifestyle change.

My goal is to lose all my baby weight from my previous 3 babes, by
March. I have 35lbs to go.

When I reach my goal, I plan to go on a holiday with my hubbie to Florida if, and when I succeed - and without the kids, then we're going to start trying again!!!

I'm so excited about it, and it feels right.

I feel like I should have known that what I was doing with trying ti have a baby right away, was just not the right time for our family - 9 months from now, is not a great time for our family to have a new baby, and a year from now seems a whole lot better timing for us. That way there will be no stressing, and no rush.

So I'm happy to report that I'm happy. I'm glad I took the break that I needed (some other things in my life just had to take priority for a change,) and that I'm back, whether you like it, or not, you're stuck with me talking about good ol' sex, and motherhood!!

Now that my period is FINALLY over, man it was horrible, tonight is going to be made into a romantic, fun, and passionate one for hubbie, and I.

After almost a week and a half without sex, I tell you even little ol' me is getting kinda hungry for some lovin'!

Well, talk at you all later, thanks again for being so supportive, you gals- and guys are all so amazing!


Mama of Romance

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Monday, December 1, 2008

I Blog for Sanity

I'm sure that many Moms, and Dads that blog can relate to "blogging for sanity." It truly seems to be a great venew to vent, rant, or to do whatever it is that you need to do to feel better - it's great therapy!

I'm sure many of you are also wondering what happened this morning....well no sign of any monthly visitors yet! So I'm super excited, but trying to control myself since I'm a firm believer in NOT getting your hopes up.

In the mean time, until I get a definite answer, I'm going to be taking a little blogging break, because I can't bare reflecting on any thoughts at the moment, as they are all centered on 1 thing: getting pregnant.

So until I know either YES or NO...I'm going to take a short break, and get all the things done that I've been putting last in my life. I have a mural for my son to finish, an office that is basically a mountain of paperwork, a car that smells like poop and curdled milk, 3 dogs to groom, a blanket to finish crocheting, a few books to finish illustrating, and a few more chapters to write on my many other books, and oh....I might make a few more quilts for my kids! LOL. Whatever it takes. YES - you would be AMAZED at what I can accomplish when I put my mind to it! I've inherited my mother's SUPER Woman gene to be super productive (hopefully reproductive too, haha.)

I plan to be back to my blog by the end of the week, and certainly by then I will have some firm answer as to whether or not I'm pregnant. Either way, I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I think that this is the perfect opportunity to tie up some loose ends in my life.

Who knows, maybe I'll come back a changed woman! I better Mom and Wife!? We'll see. Maybe I'll just find a way to get my sanity back! Talk soon everyone, and thanks for having me in your thoughts.


Mama of Romance

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