Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I'm Back!

After what has been a whirl-wind week of ups, and downs, being crazy busy, and completely calm, I'm back.

Thanks for being patient with me!

At the beginning of last week I was 100% certain that I was pregnant, and had been for a few weeks. I was having all of the symptoms, and 1 out of 4 tests read a slight positive (for anyone who does not know what I mean, it means that one of the lines in the + sign was fainter than the other one.)



Anyhow, I made the best decision in the world to keep myself occupied with life, and to finish all that I have been putting off, and also in not letting myself get my hopes up, because I am not pregnant ;( anymore.

It's okay though, I'm alright with it now. I was, I'm certain, but only a few weeks along, so it could have been worse.

This has never happened to me before, and was shocking at the time. I started spotting ever so lightly on the day of my period, and then nothing for 4 days. On the 4th day, I began spotting again, all day. I thought perhaps this was normal, because some women spot slightly the first month that they are pregnant. It certainly wasn't anything near my normal heavy, aweful period. Until all of a sudden, it was the worst I've ever had.

Not to gross anyone out, but I feel it good to share the experience, that I just knew I was pregnant, because it looked as though there was a little more than just my "period" - if you know what I mean. Too much information, I know, but thought it good to share anyway.

I was devastated the day this happened, heart broken really, but then I remembered all the women that I know who have gone through worse, and I looked around at my beautiful family, and I knew it was going to be alright. Everything happens for a reason.

So, I have spent the week, with cramps, and aweful feelings, but have come to make a great decision in my life. I am not going to continue trying to get pregnant right away any longer, I want to give myself a bit of a break, and I'm going to do one of the last things that I've been meaning to do but have kept on the back burner in my life. I'm going to lose weight! In fact, I've already lost 5 pounds, and I'm on a great new diet, and exercise program which has really been all about eating healthier, and eating the right amounts of certain types of foods. An overall bettter lifestyle change.

My goal is to lose all my baby weight from my previous 3 babes, by
March. I have 35lbs to go.

When I reach my goal, I plan to go on a holiday with my hubbie to Florida if, and when I succeed - and without the kids, then we're going to start trying again!!!

I'm so excited about it, and it feels right.

I feel like I should have known that what I was doing with trying ti have a baby right away, was just not the right time for our family - 9 months from now, is not a great time for our family to have a new baby, and a year from now seems a whole lot better timing for us. That way there will be no stressing, and no rush.

So I'm happy to report that I'm happy. I'm glad I took the break that I needed (some other things in my life just had to take priority for a change,) and that I'm back, whether you like it, or not, you're stuck with me talking about good ol' sex, and motherhood!!

Now that my period is FINALLY over, man it was horrible, tonight is going to be made into a romantic, fun, and passionate one for hubbie, and I.

After almost a week and a half without sex, I tell you even little ol' me is getting kinda hungry for some lovin'!

Well, talk at you all later, thanks again for being so supportive, you gals- and guys are all so amazing!



Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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34 comments:

Kimmy said...

I'm sorry you had to experience that. As you said, everything happens for a reason and I'm happy to hear you are happy now! :o)

Congrats on moving towards weight lose. I am a WeightWatcher and it has taught me so much!! I've lost 30lbs and feel better than ever! Congrats and good luck!

sandi said...

I feel you! I have been there and still walk in your shoes often.

I am excited for you to go on a sex trip with Hubby. You both need it!

I am glad you are back and happy. I have missed you.

dhw said...

I too lost one when I wasn't very far along. It wasn't the right time for us to have another one, but we tried (well actually I tried, he didn't know) about 6 months later and we ended up having our daughter who is my best friend and my twin!!!

Dee said...

I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that but I am glad that you're HAPPY with everything now! :) I'll be thinking about you!

Kristy said...

Oh my goodness..sorry you had to go through with that...I lost my first baby due to miscarriage and it was awful, I wouldn't wish that on anyone! But good for you for having such a great attitude about the whole scenario! everything does happen for a reason, after my miscariage, I took it upon myself to get in the best shape of my I've ever been in and completely transform my life! I'm proud to say that when I got pregnant again, I was in the best physical shape of my life and was actually preparing for a figure competition at the time...but 9 months later came my baby and the rest is history.

I really do wish you the best! Take care of yourself!

nicólle said...

Sorry to hear you had a rough week, knowing that you were able to grow from this experience is something positive.

nicolle

http://prettypinkchandelier.blogspot.com/

nicólle said...

Sorry to hear you had a rough week, knowing that you were able to grow from this experience is something positive.

nicolle

http://prettypinkchandelier.blogspot.com/

A New England Life said...

You have such a positive attitude which can only make things work out for the best. Congrats on losing the weight, I'm sure it's not easy. And a vacation with just the hubby ... I can only dream!

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

Great attitude! I am sorry to hear about this experience, but glad that you can look at it like you do and realize it will all work out!

Good for you!

Lori of I'm no super Mom said...

I am so sorry! I had a m/c in June so I know exactly what you are going through. If you ever need to talk shoot me an e-mail. One of the best things I ever did was talk to someone away from my situation. It sounds like you have a good plan though! God bless your life!

NHmommy said...

keep your chin up..march sounds perfect for baby making!

Mary Moore said...

Been there, done that. Sorry to hear this happen. Take care of yourself and your little ones, and like you said, try again when the time is right! Keep on keepin' on!

Mominator said...

I'm sorry you had to go through that. You did the right thing by taking some time to process what happened and find some healing. I suspect we all would have waited as long as you would've needed us to.

Jennifer said...

We had lost one last year, and it was tough. We had to wait to try again, not by choice, but because hubster had just left for cruise! I think it did wind up being for the best. But now here I am, pregnant again, only a scant 5 weeks (within two months of hubster getting back - he feels like a stud!) and I admit I'm a little nervous. Thank goodness for already having a 2 yo, she keeps me plenty busy and my mind off of it! We're not telling family yet, so don't go shouting congrats on my blog or anything! I've been telling far-flung friends, so we still get the good mojo going!

Kelly said...

i'm so sorry that you had to go through that. my first pregnancy ended in m/c so i know how hard it is both physically and emotionally. hang in there girl! you have a great circle of support here!!!

Activities@home said...

Sorry to hear that you had a rough week. I am glad that you are back now

Straight to Your Hart said...

I'm so sorry to hear that. Hope you are feeling better with each passing day.

Grateful to know the strength you are having to be positive...and goal setting! Lots of hugs...

The Wife O Riley said...

I came across your blog from another blogger who has your button. I am sorry you had to experience that, but I'm glad you sort of put a positive spin on it.

I will definitely be back to read what going on.

Geri said...

Sounds like things are going along well and that you're doing good on your weight loss plans. Things always work out for the best.

Jennifer said...

I was dropping EC cards and noticed you hadn't posted for quite a while. I'm sure it's just the holiday hustle and bustle, but just in case it isn't, I wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you and that you are a wonderful, strong, beautiful person. And I hope you are having a happy day!

Rachel said...

I'm so sorry that you've experienced this; I understand your emotions (been through this myself). I'm glad you are feeling a bit better. Having goals does help.

I'll be thinking of you.

Following In My Shoes

Hannah Noel said...

you are so brave!!!

mandy_moo said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. It's devastating no matter how far along you are. I've had two losses myself. I'm glad you have such a good attitude though!!

Mary Moore said...

Hi there! Just wondering how you're doing! You haven't update in a looong time. Are you ok?

kitchenwitch said...

I had the same (almost exact) experience in October. It was the first time it had ever happened to me-and I have three kids. I was so shocked... And sad...
I know how you feel.

(((Hugs)))

PS. I got pregnant two weeks later, complete accident! So watch out! LOL

Jen @ Mommay's Mayhem said...

Where are you??? Please come back!!

Amber said...

Wow, such a terrible experience to have gone through. Hope you have better luck in the future. I agree that everything happens for a reason. Glad you pulled through ok.

i am nobe. said...

hahaha! that last caricature cracked me up. so true. sometimes.

love,
nobe

www.deariago.blogspot.com
www.nobe112681.blogspot.com
www.babyproblogger.blogspot.com

Paula said...

It sounds like you have the right idea. And I am glad you have so much support on your blog. I have had several miscarriages and had no one around me who had ever had that happen...it isn't a thing people usually like to talk about but I believe god has plans for us and we have to go through certain things for certain reasons.

Sex? what is that. I certainly wish my sex life would get going again.

The Mrs said...

I'm so sorry that happened. I just had the exact same thing happen last week as well. It is so weird to go from pregnant thinking back to normal life.

Tena said...

{{{{ gentle hugs }}}}}

bobbieblog31.com said...

im a firm believer in every thing happens for a reason
glad to hear your going to stop trying for awhile i seen alot of people forget trying to ending up pregnant after all cause sometimes we try yo hard and when we ease up is when it will happen
i to have been trying for 4 months now so i do know the frustration it will happen in its own time just be patient

BlogTactic said...

102 escapes move ... that's funny

Ekta said...

Well you have 3 and i have one kid so by that logic you are more experienced. But even then my little piece of advice...one gets preg easier when one is not trying hard for it. Enjoy it more than try it.
BTW i like your blog...its seems like a fun place for women.
Cheers!
EKTA