Liquorice Butt

Do you tell people that you know intricate details about your sex life? You know, hang out your dirty laundry?

I know that I don’t.

I don’t feel comfortable saying the word “sex” in front of most, if any of the people that I surround myself with on a regular basis. These people being my children, my in-laws, family members, and neighbors.

The only few people that I would dare say anything about the subject to I hardly speak to any more. These people being my best girlfriends from high school, that have now all moved, and started their own lives, and families.

When I finally do get a chance to catch up with them, sex isn’t the first topic that comes to mind.

But, not everyone is like me.

Do you know anyone, actually I’m almost certain that we all know at least one person that just gives us WAY too much information!

Well, after what I heard, I can no longer look the same way at a certain person - or their partner.

My husband was visiting his uncle, who strangely is closer to his age, than he is the age of what you think your uncle should be.

They were working together at something, and weren’t talking about anything sexual in nature.

Suddenly, his uncle just out of the blue decided to state the following:

“Hey, do know what is just so funny?”

My husband was expecting a joke, or a explanation of what was funny that his children did.

But, instead this is what he heard:

“Me, and the Mrs. were playing around last night in the living room, and I was totally naked. I was doing a little dance in front of the Mrs. and she was really excited about it. When all of a sudden, Mr. Soandso banged on our living room window. He saw me in the nude, buck naked with a piece of liquorice between my butt cheeks. The Mrs. likes liquorice.”

OMG! What do you say to that!?

Well, my husband was more shocked than he was about to laugh at what his uncle had assured him was going to be funny.

He mustered an “unhuh-” and then quickly changed the subject.

And, of course came home to tell me all about it.

Now I cannot get the mental picture of my husbands uncle out of my head. I slightly bigger man with a hairy back, in the nude, in his living room, with a piece of liquorice hanging down between his butt cheeks. Ah!

Some things just do NOT need to be shared with the people that you know. Some things should be kept sacred.

You don’t have to let everything hang out on the line.

I will never, in my life be able to look at him in the same light, my husband and I will have difficulty not calling him the well deserved title of “Liquorice Butt,“ or will I ever eat a piece of liquorice without thinking of his tale.

I wonder what kind of liquorice it was anyway? Haha.


Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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