If I'm Not Pregnant, I'm Out of My Mind

Alright Ladies, and Gentlemen, I think - I THINK that I am pregnant. After having 3 children to date, you'd think that I would just know.

And, after just recently taking 4 pregnancy tests, if I'm not pregnant, I swear that I'm losing my mind.

The symptoms:

Cravings of abnormally fatty foods that I seem willing to fight my 2 year-old for, inclination to clean like a mad woman and finish all the jobs that I've started, an enormous gut that appears to either be brought on by years of drinking beer (I hate beer) - OR a little wee baby growing inside of me, pants too tight, insatiable urge to pee, uncomfortable when trying to sleep, either really happy - OR really sad and can't stop crying, easily agitated, and the list goes on of all the little quirks that I've been feeling.

The results of my 4 pregnancy tests by the way have been a clear "-" which if you have ever taken one, you'll know means that I am NOT pregnant. Except....1 of them, it was the 3rd one that I took....there was an itty bitty, faint "" symbol behind the "-" that was almost completely indiscernible. Now I faithfully read the instructions, and they claim that even the faintest mark of a "+" means that you're pregnant, even if one of the lines is substantially fainter than the other one.

I tell you, all this anticipation, and uncertainty are driving me nuts. Really, I just want to know already.

I normally get my period tomorrow - the very first of the month, but no signs that it is coming as of yet. I realize that all these symptoms seem to be coming early - but everything seems to happen sooner as far as I'm concerned after the more kids you have.

So, here I am. Pregnant, maybe, maybe not, maybe. If only I had a field of daisies to pluck the pedals out of to buy some time. I'm twiddling my thumbs, oh my gosh you have no idea!!!

So here's the thing. In the past 2 days I have made an ENTIRE quilt to pass the time (actually to keep my mind completely off of the pregnancy subject), I've done 26 loads of laundry, changed 5 beds, vacuumed, done 7 loads of dishes, you get the point, baked 2 batches of chocolate cookies, and even made homemade pizza.

But, alas, I guess I'm brought to one conclusion - that only time will tell, and I most certainly do not want to get my hopes up.

Last thing that I wanted to say: that I feel a real urge to be honest right here, right now. I do not like mean people, at all. And, I want to say (because this is my blog, and I can say whatever I feel like) that if you are going to be mean when you comment, don't bother. You're wasting your breath, and I won't waste my time acknowledging you. I figure that mean people must be bored, or sad. I don't have the time in my life to be either, in fact I love all the people that I've met thus far blogging, and enjoy sharing my little bit of my life with the world, no matter how crazy it is sometimes. So get lost all of you mean people, and write a blog won't you! It's a great way to vent, in your own domain, literally.



Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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I Just Gave Birth & You Want To WHAT!?

One thing that astounds me, is that immediately after I've had each of my 3 babies...the doctor has said "Alright, so what are you going to do for birth control?"

Like after I just went through the most excruciating pain in my life, am I thinking about hopping in the sack with Mr. Romeo sitting over there, who looks exhausted - when he didn't even do anything!

Can you say, "P-A-I-N!" I don't know about you, but I've had to wait a good 8 weeks to even want to explore the thought of having sex again.

Not to mention, who would want to be pregnant simultaneously like that?

Maybe some, but that's not for me. I like to allow my body to recover, and to take the time to embrace my new role as Mommy with my new little one.

Do you know what takes the cake though, and is worse than the doctor posing this most unwanted question?! I know it's just a preventative, by-the-books thing to do, but it's like whispering "candy" to a kid.

What takes the cake is my husband, asking "Are we going to be able to have sex any day soon?" on the night that we arrive home from the hospital. I know his ears perked up when he had heard the doctor earlier.

Well, gee? Let me think about it - "No."

It's times like these that I don't even bother to get mad. I find peace as I close my eyes, and think back to what my mother used to always say...

"MeN are just LiTtLe BOYS in biGgEr bodies."

So true. Yes, when it comes to being rational, patient, understanding, empathetic, and self-controlled individuals, my mom was RIGHT.

"No Honey, I'm sorry, but you're just going to have to wait. Please don't bug me again for like - 2 months at least." I would say.

"2 MORE months!?" He would implore.

Like he's that bad-off because we didn't have a whole lot of sex near the end of my pregnancy (couldn't because it became very painful.)

"Yes Dear. 2 months at least. And, you know? I will tell you when I'm ready." I responded.

"I'm going to die a virgin." He would say.

I roll my eyes, and ignore the comment.

Well, do you know I'll admit, we did have a "saving grace." I would recommend one to ANY woman expecting, or for those who aren't always answering their partners sexual needs on a regular basis.

It's called a fake VAGINA. There. I said it - vagina.

Sound gross? Well, I tell you that after having 1 baby, and listening to grumbling, and whining from a horny husband, I learnt my lesson.

After baby #1 I went to an Adult store, and bought one myself, wrapped it up, and gave it to Mr. Grumpy Pants so that he would leave me alone.

They are rather inexpensive, and some are not as freakish looking as others. The girl in the store was courteous to me, as she saw me with my HUGE belly, I'm sure she understood why I was there buying this little toy.

Now, we're pros. If I'm not in the mood, or too tired, or whatever - I just say..

"Oh, well why don't you just take care of that. I'm here, I love you, I'm just don't want to have sex right now."

Saves a whole lot of pouting, whining, fighting, and all that other bad stuff that's not good for your relationship.

Please share your thoughts, and experiences by commenting below!

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance

xoxo

Welcome to Sex Diaries of a Mom

No really, I'm just here to talk about what the sex life of a Mom can really be like, and have a whole lot of fun at the same time.

Just so you know, this blog is a clean blog about sex, so if you're here to find any Mommy nuddies - see yah.

Seriously though, us Moms have one thing in common - other than the fact that once a baby pops out of your womb your sex life will never be the same again, we all have to juggle a million different things, and finding the time, energy, or desire to have a sex life can be a super big challenge.

So this blog is committed to walking you down the path of a Mom's sex life through her G-rated diary, and to offer some tasteful information that any women really, Mom or not would find useful.

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance

xoxo