Strobing His Stuff

Like a kid in a candy store, my husband pranced...dare I say *pranced* across our kitchen floor when he arrived home from work just the other day bearing a small box. The box appeared to house some kind of electronic/man tool/boring thing.

I heeded no concern.

However, hubbie continued to look extraordinarily excited. I wonder at this point - should I be worried?

When he finally set the mysterious box on the counter, I picked it up to get a better look, and to see what all of his excitement was about.

Do you know what it was?


A strobe light.

My husband made a special trip to the hardware store, to buy a strobe light.

What are we hosting a kiddy dance for all the 2, 3, and 4 year-olds in the neighborhood that I don't know about (I don't recall being informed about this monumental event.)


Then, I realize - ahhh, it's almost Halloween!! That's why he got the light. That makes sense, he wants to set the Halloween mood for when the 1...maybe 2 trick-or-treaters come. Oh wait, we won't be home!

What is this silly forsaken thing for anyway, I wonder?

So I ask. Trying not to sound annoyed that he spent money on something frivolous, or concerned about his mental state.

Me: "Dear, why did you buy a strobe light?"

Hubbie: "Just cause."

Me: "Cause....why?" I say, smiling.

Hubbie: "It's Halloween, don't you know."

Me: "Oh I know, well that's great! So why did you buy it?"

Hubbie: "Okay, well when I was younger these babies cost like 100 bucks, and it was on sale, and I always wanted one."

Me: Trying not to laugh my buns off at how geekishly corny, cute he is.

I shake my head, and continue about my business.

Well, I tell you there was so recapitulating of the good Ol' days because of that strobe light, no Sir. No heart felt fond memories of the yesteryear's.

He did not buy it because he always wanted one. As I saw later from my view laying in bed, with my naked hovering husband jiggling, and wiggling his buns in the blinking light - he bought it because he always wanted to dance in the light of a strobe light naked, in front of a woman.

I feel so lucky - Hehum to be that woman. Now turn off the light so you don't fall down, and break something, and so I don't feel like the world is spinning.

This is the good stuff that memories together are made of. This is right up there with the liquorice butt.


Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Sassy Saturday - I'm the Sassy One Today!

I have to say I am so sorry if I have left comments for people that don't make any sense, or adhere to the wrong name!

Apparently it's tricky business blogging, and bouncing a baby at the same time.

I tagged some ladies, and might have left the wrong comment on the wrong blog! Renee, I am sorry! Yes, I am a little preoccupied...but not because I'm having sex! I was baking cookies.

Just kidding! Can you believe this picture! Who would make this kind of gingerbread cookie!?...other than my husband, who actually does make really yummy cookies. This is my sassy picture for today by the way!

Maybe, everyone should call me The Neurotic Mom - but I think I'll leave that title to the awesome Kelly!

Or say that I've gone Banana's - but no, I'll leave that to the Mom over at Absolutely Bananas!

Anyhooo....while I was at Renee's sweet blog Cutie Booty Cakes, I noticed this in the sidebar, and since it is of deep meaning to me because of my life experiences, I had to post it today.

I feel strongly about this subject (not feeling boobies) - no I don't enjoy feeling boobies, but in breast cancer awareness. So, ladies please pass it on, post it, make sure that you ALL check yourselfs out this week, and regularly!

Many of the women in my family have had breast cancer, some have not survived. Cancer is something that has deeply impacted who I am, and how I live.

So, please do your part to spread the word.

And, have a great weekend!


Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Turn On The Romance

Okay, so I'm a corny, sappy, poo when it comes to romantic movies.

There's nothing like putting on a romantic flick to make me get in the mood. Which is a good, and a bad thing when it comes to my husband - because he LOVES it when I'm in the mood, but hates corny, sappy movies.

I'm almost certain that his eyes almost bleed at the sight of a romance set in the 1900's especially. I can hear him moaning, and groaning on the couch beside me as I watch Pride and Prejudice - and it's not because he's aroused in any manner, in fact I believe it has an opposite affect on him. The moaning and groaning more likely has to do with him having the need to regurgitate his supper.

So, I save watching these kinds of movies for when he's not around.

I'm not sure if all women are the same, but I tell you, it's movies like this one that make me smile at the thought that true love, passion, romance, and all that other sappy stuff used to - and still has the chance to exist.

Swooning a woman, and being so polite, gentleman-like, and so eloquent.

It all just seems so beautiful. And, if only we could capture a glimpse of that, and bring it into our everyday lives, well then in my opinion we'd all be ahead in our relationships, and our sex life.

If my husband only knew that if he studied these movies, even just a little - and took a few notes, why, he would be as sexy to me as I'll get out.

I am such a sap.

What other male movie studs make you drool?

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Liquorice Butt

Do you tell people that you know intricate details about your sex life? You know, hang out your dirty laundry?

I know that I don’t.

I don’t feel comfortable saying the word “sex” in front of most, if any of the people that I surround myself with on a regular basis. These people being my children, my in-laws, family members, and neighbors.

The only few people that I would dare say anything about the subject to I hardly speak to any more. These people being my best girlfriends from high school, that have now all moved, and started their own lives, and families.

When I finally do get a chance to catch up with them, sex isn’t the first topic that comes to mind.

But, not everyone is like me.

Do you know anyone, actually I’m almost certain that we all know at least one person that just gives us WAY too much information!

Well, after what I heard, I can no longer look the same way at a certain person - or their partner.

My husband was visiting his uncle, who strangely is closer to his age, than he is the age of what you think your uncle should be.

They were working together at something, and weren’t talking about anything sexual in nature.

Suddenly, his uncle just out of the blue decided to state the following:

“Hey, do know what is just so funny?”

My husband was expecting a joke, or a explanation of what was funny that his children did.

But, instead this is what he heard:

“Me, and the Mrs. were playing around last night in the living room, and I was totally naked. I was doing a little dance in front of the Mrs. and she was really excited about it. When all of a sudden, Mr. Soandso banged on our living room window. He saw me in the nude, buck naked with a piece of liquorice between my butt cheeks. The Mrs. likes liquorice.”

OMG! What do you say to that!?

Well, my husband was more shocked than he was about to laugh at what his uncle had assured him was going to be funny.

He mustered an “unhuh-” and then quickly changed the subject.

And, of course came home to tell me all about it.

Now I cannot get the mental picture of my husbands uncle out of my head. I slightly bigger man with a hairy back, in the nude, in his living room, with a piece of liquorice hanging down between his butt cheeks. Ah!

Some things just do NOT need to be shared with the people that you know. Some things should be kept sacred.

You don’t have to let everything hang out on the line.

I will never, in my life be able to look at him in the same light, my husband and I will have difficulty not calling him the well deserved title of “Liquorice Butt,“ or will I ever eat a piece of liquorice without thinking of his tale.

I wonder what kind of liquorice it was anyway? Haha.


Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Top 10 Turn-Ons For Men

Ladies get out your pens! It's time to take some notes.

According to men (at least many of the men that peruse the internet, and I'm not sure how reliable they might be), that despite the fact that what every man deems as "attractive" may differ from man to man, there are 10 things that nearly all men share in common when it comes to what turns them on.

I apologize in advance for going all Cosmo on you.

Here's the top 10 turn-ons:

1. Women that leave something to the imagination - Obviously. I knew men liked a low cut shirt, or shorter skirt, this is no news to me. I don't imagine my husband would be too keen if I flaunted everything I had in public, or even at home in front of friends and family, boobs and all though. That might be a bit awkward. So I suppose if you don't show it all, you are leaving some to the imagination, obviously.

2. Women that are not afraid to admit that they love sex - Well of course, if they won't admit it, they won't do it, and we all know that doesn't make a man too happy.

3. Women that have a strong sense of self-esteem - Absolutely.

4. Women that know how to talk dirty - Well if you don't shock them so bad that they run, they'll probably like it I guess. My husband would probably drool profusely if I used half of the vocabulary that he spills on me on a daily basis, even though I would rather he didn't

5. That love their bodies - I think my husband says "am I fat?" more than I do, and I probably have more % body fat than he does, actually I know I do. But, I love him regardless of his complaints.

6. That have an accent - I can relate to that. A few words of french, and my husband goes wild. Why? I have no idea. But, I can remember doing this soon after I met him. I said "Je veux te couvrer avec le sirop d'erable, et lecher ton corps." Pardoner moi, but I don't know where the accents are on my keyboard. For all of you who speak french, I'm sorry. Too much information, I know. For those of you who don't - it has to do with maple syrup, and my tongue.

7. That have a wicked sense of humor - Yes. Laughing, in, and out of bed can only do good things for your sex life, and your married life.

8. That are adventurous - One could argue about putting a cap on this one. Kinky, yes. Animals, another man, or any object whose function isn't apparent are going too far. Even for a man like my husband - way too far. Let's just stick with kinky...mildly kinky.

9. That are independent - If this means that my husband's going to be hot for me if I take time to give myself some love, hehem, he can forget it. I hardly have enough time to wash my hair. And, if it means that men like women who do "there own thing" in life, well I don't know about that. My husband gets a big pouty lip out, and whines worse than my 4 year-old every time I do something that doesn't include him.

10. That look like a centerfold - Forget it. I didn't before I had kids, and I won't after. So if my husband is one of these guys, well he best...forget it!

I found the original article here.



Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Mile High In The Mountains?

So it's the last day of our vacation, and we decided to go hiking up a mountain. Nothing like tiring a Mom out, just before coming home to a week worth of laundry, messes, and excitable kids.

We were hoping to rock hound a little for some semi-precious gemstones that are local to the area, or perhaps uncover some fossils to give to our kids, but we came back empty handed.

The heat was overpowering, and the hike was exhausting. But we finally got to the top.

As we sat there, looking 360 degrees around us, the breeze blowing on our faces, I thought "Wow, it doesn't get any better than this."

And, as I turned from looking at the amazing view, and our astonishing solitude, I looked at my husband.

His face said it all: "This is great - but, there's one thing that would make this perfect."

I shook my head, because I knew the look on his face meant that he wanted to have sex.

No, no, no, no, no.

What, here on the mountain top, on the edge, where when you look down it drops straight to the bottom?

Sure, like making love at home with the kids interrupting our intimate time isn't awkward enough!

I can handle tip-toeing toddlers, but sex on a ledge covered with bird poo, uuugghh.

Looking at him, I thought, "Wipe that smirk off your face Mr., you are so not getting any."

But then I looked around us again, and it hit me.

Not only were we completely alone for miles, and miles, but this could possibly be our only time ever to be together to enjoy ourselves alone, without interruption, and in such a place of beauty.

Not like we can ever hike up this kind of a mountain without our kids when we go home - there are no mountains like this at home!

Okay, so I caved, I gave in, I folded - after all, he lucked out on the plane ride here, and I knew he wanted it sooo bad.

Blushing still, I can't believe we did it.

Sometimes I think that the most healthy thing for a relationship is to do the things that you're least likely to do, and to make amazing memories together.

Just because I'm a Mom, doesn't mean that every day has to be ordinary, it can still be extraordinary too (sometimes).




Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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