I'm Back!

After what has been a whirl-wind week of ups, and downs, being crazy busy, and completely calm, I'm back.

Thanks for being patient with me!

At the beginning of last week I was 100% certain that I was pregnant, and had been for a few weeks. I was having all of the symptoms, and 1 out of 4 tests read a slight positive (for anyone who does not know what I mean, it means that one of the lines in the + sign was fainter than the other one.)

Anyhow, I made the best decision in the world to keep myself occupied with life, and to finish all that I have been putting off, and also in not letting myself get my hopes up, because I am not pregnant ;( anymore.

It's okay though, I'm alright with it now. I was, I'm certain, but only a few weeks along, so it could have been worse.

This has never happened to me before, and was shocking at the time. I started spotting ever so lightly on the day of my period, and then nothing for 4 days. On the 4th day, I began spotting again, all day. I thought perhaps this was normal, because some women spot slightly the first month that they are pregnant. It certainly wasn't anything near my normal heavy, aweful period. Until all of a sudden, it was the worst I've ever had.

Not to gross anyone out, but I feel it good to share the experience, that I just knew I was pregnant, because it looked as though there was a little more than just my "period" - if you know what I mean. Too much information, I know, but thought it good to share anyway.

I was devastated the day this happened, heart broken really, but then I remembered all the women that I know who have gone through worse, and I looked around at my beautiful family, and I knew it was going to be alright. Everything happens for a reason.

So, I have spent the week, with cramps, and aweful feelings, but have come to make a great decision in my life. I am not going to continue trying to get pregnant right away any longer, I want to give myself a bit of a break, and I'm going to do one of the last things that I've been meaning to do but have kept on the back burner in my life. I'm going to lose weight! In fact, I've already lost 5 pounds, and I'm on a great new diet, and exercise program which has really been all about eating healthier, and eating the right amounts of certain types of foods. An overall bettter lifestyle change.

My goal is to lose all my baby weight from my previous 3 babes, by
March. I have 35lbs to go.

When I reach my goal, I plan to go on a holiday with my hubbie to Florida if, and when I succeed - and without the kids, then we're going to start trying again!!!

I'm so excited about it, and it feels right.

I feel like I should have known that what I was doing with trying ti have a baby right away, was just not the right time for our family - 9 months from now, is not a great time for our family to have a new baby, and a year from now seems a whole lot better timing for us. That way there will be no stressing, and no rush.

So I'm happy to report that I'm happy. I'm glad I took the break that I needed (some other things in my life just had to take priority for a change,) and that I'm back, whether you like it, or not, you're stuck with me talking about good ol' sex, and motherhood!!

Now that my period is FINALLY over, man it was horrible, tonight is going to be made into a romantic, fun, and passionate one for hubbie, and I.

After almost a week and a half without sex, I tell you even little ol' me is getting kinda hungry for some lovin'!

Well, talk at you all later, thanks again for being so supportive, you gals- and guys are all so amazing!



Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Pregnant Or Not

With all 3 of our other children, I can honestly say that we've never had trouble conceiving, with the labour, or the delivery. I know I am an extremely blessed woman when it comes to having children.

Now, we've been missing having sex every once, and a while for whatever reason. Mainly because I'm exhausted, and get to bed first. I'm assuming this has to do with the fact that I already have 3 small children who tire me out. We have put in the effort to have sex at different times of the day though, when I'm not so tired, but it doesn't seem to be cutting it - because there's nothing growing inside my tummy right now that I know of other than gas. That was too much information, I know, I'm sorry.

Anyhow, I know it's only been about 2 months since we've started trying, and that's nothing compared to what other women go through on their road to pregnancy, so I am not complaining.

What I was wondering however is, whether or not it's true that you can only get pregnant on about 2 days in a given month? If that's the case, I just hope that those 2 days don't land when I'm too tired, and sound asleep. I sure would like to pinpoint a time down.

Conceiving a child in my opinion shouldn't be like orchestrating a play, it shouldn't be like rocket science, however because of what lies down the road for us in about 9 months, we either have to get pregnant right now, or wait a while. I wonder if any other women, and their husbands have tried planning it down to a fine science as well? I certainly feel a little strange about doing so.

By the by, I wish that my desire to have a baby matched my desire to have sex! It's like my heart wants another little one so badly, but my brain is saying "ah well maybe not tonight." One would think that the desire to conceive would have me acting like a bunny on Viagra - but no.


Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Me and My Man

Over the past few weeks, I've felt closer than ever to my husband, as both a friend, husband, co-parent, and even sexually.

Why this closeness?

I'm not 100% certain, but think it has something to do with how riding all of the bumps in marriage can have you feeling closer than ever.

I've finally gotten rid of this cold that has been plaguing my family for it seems nearly a month, and feel great.

I'm so glad that everyone visiting Sex Diaries of a Mom was kind to my nervous hubbie who had the courage to write a post. I hope that you all enjoyed it, I laughed so hard as I helped him post it - asking "are you sure you want to write that!?" I cannot believe that he was gusty enough to use the word "dinky." He's a very comical guy. It's all in good fun.

In future, albeit the silly, and sometimes immature words that come from my husbands mouth, and alas your requests, I think he'll post again.


The day that he posted, we left for a little trip, and he was so nervous that you all might be upset, or annoyed, or thought what he wrote wasn't good that the second we got home, he booted up the computer, and checked the comments.

So thanks for being kind to him, he's the type of guy that doesn't talk a lot, especially to other women!

Anyhow, I'm off to hang out with the family today. Look forward to a fun, and productive week. Looks like I'll be blogging away here, there, and every where so stay tuned.



Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Who Wants to Hear From Mr. Romance?

My husband and I have talked on a few occassions about him doing a GUEST post about how a Dad of 3 busy little kids feels about his sometimes non-existant great sex life. I'd like to know from you whether or not you'd like a little inside look at the thoughts, and opinions of Mr. Romance.

Plus, it will give me more time to take it easy, and get better (yah right!) Can you believe that I'm sick again! I swear everytime one of us gets sick in the household, then it passes on to the next person whether they've already had it or not.

My hubbie was just asking me actually - "Why are you always sick?" He said this with a pout on his face, thinking "Man, if she's sick, that means no nookie for me!"

Anyhow, I just shrugged him off, I can hardly speak so I have been rather silent the last week or so. Later on, I was carrying my 1 year-old downstairs, and I was talking to him all cutesy-baby like, because I love him, and he's so cute. And, do you know what he did? He sneezed directly into my wide-open mouth!

It was a big, wet, slimy, lumpy sneeze, just to give a really great mental picture here.

And, absolutely discusting. I could actually taste boogers.

My husband wonders why I get sick....hahaha. I wonder.

So, let me know if you'd like to hear from the Great, the one, the only, Super Dad of 3, Mr. Romance! If he posts, it will be this Wednesday - so be sure to check back for his post.

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Sexy Tip #10 For Moms

Use what you've got.

Let's face it, not many of us Moms have tons of money to throw around. These days some of us hardly have enough to pay the bills, and put food on the table with the way things have been going with the economy.

SO...use what you've got.

Sexy doesn't have to mean spending all kinds of money on fancy lingerie that you'll only wear once, it can be as simply as throwing on a T-shirt or apron on, and a pair of heels, and "sweeping" the kitchen floor. Add bending over discretely infront of your partner, and a quick grazing of your fingers up his arm to his lips, and you have created sparks of romance.

You might be surprised at how for some men, it takes very little to turn them on. And...for others, well maybe you need to use your imagination, but not your walet.


Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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A Delightful Morning

There are so many nights where I can remember that I feel just way too tired to have sex. The night before last was one of them.

Fewf - I survived the day, I thought, as my head crashed onto my pillow, and I fell asleep.

My husband had not ventured to bed yet, he was busy fixing something, and when he finally got to bed I was long gone to Lala Land. Not even his best attempts at undressing, or dry humping could have woke me up that night.

I woke up, and he was gone to work.

Looking out the window, I actually felt sad.

When I got downstairs, I see that he left a little note:

Morning Darling,

You are so beautiful, and I love you so much. I hope that you had a good sleep.
XOXOX

Not having kissed him goodnight, or woke up with him, I wished I could just kiss him at that moment.

I raced to the phone thinking that maybe I could catch him. I got a hold of him.

Me: "Hi honey, I love you."
Hubbie: "Love you too."
Me: "What are you doing?"
Hubbie: "Going to work."
Me: "Want to come home maybe?"
Hubbie: "Why do you want me to come home?"
Me: "Oh I don't know......you know."
Hubbie: "Seriously?! I'll be right there."

The kids watched a movie downstairs, luckily the baby had not yet woken up, and we had a quick, but romantic morning together. It was utterly delightful.

Let's just hope he doesn't expect it all of the time! But, I do have to say, I think I prefer morning sex to the so-tired-I-can-barely-move-night-sex that my husband, and I have become accustomed to.


Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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*R-Rated Post* On Oral

Any squeamish Moms out there, or underage people, please leave this blog now - come back tomorrow when I've posted something a little less racy. I won't be showing any r-rated pictures, but will be grazing on a subject that might have some people feeling uncomfortable, or offended. So if you don't think you can handle it, or you shouldn't be reading this, then see you later.

_________________________

It's a subject that I'm almost certain many of us Moms just don't talk about. For one, many of us don't have people in our lives to talk to about it, and for another, sometimes even if we did, we don't get the chance with our kids around nearly all of the time.

You know, to talk about whatever pops up.

Well, I can remember the very first time that I ever gave a man oral. It was traumatic for me, and so briefly, for you to understand, here's how it went:

I was kissing a boyfriend at the time, and not at all ready for this kind of thing, as he said "I want you to lick my c#&k."

Well, being the shy, sweet little young woman that doesn't swear, that blunt, slightly rude question made me gasp, blush, something curdled in my stomach, and the entire thought of doing that just grossed me out.

Between then, and now I went years with braces on my teeth - anyone who has had them knows that they can cause quite the problem when delving in the field of oral sex. Yikes.

Anyhoo, now that I'm without those mental metal obstructions, am married to a man that I truly love, and know that oral sex is something that is so crucial exciting for him, I want to try my best to please.

But, to be honest - part of me is still a little squeamish. Man do I feel like a baby.

Another part of me is exhausted even by the image of my head bobbing up and down at the end of the day. My head generally only wants to make 1 final motion when the day is through - and that my friend is falling straight back to hit the lovely, cushiony pillow on my bed.

How often should a woman (a Mom) give her partner oral sex?

I hardly have time to floss my teeth, to sit down to eat, to remember to wear deodorant. So how often should I be stroking the Ol' Enchilada with my tonsils, I mean mouth?

And, does anyone ever have trouble doing it!?

Please, if you are going to comment - keep your comments clean. Thank you!



Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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A Quarter of a Century

I just turned a quarter of a century, can you believe it? And although no other Birthday has ever had me really feeling differently about my life, this one seems to have created a huge impact.


I just turned a quarter of a century...it keeps repeating itself inside my head, as does the long list of things that I want to do, and of who I want to be when I "grow up."


Well, here I sit, in my pj's, pondering my life, my 3 little men running, and crawling all around me. I'm not sure if it's the fact that it feels like 2 seconds ago I was 20, and in a blink 5 years have passed, and - okay, what happened to ME?


The dawn of my Birthday, I made a few decisions.

After a night full of tears, barely no sleep, and having spend it alone for the first time in my entire marriage in a different bed, in a different room, crying. I got up, and I felt different.

My husband has been making work his first priority since mid summer, and after months of fighting, and what I thought had been the worst of it behind us, I went to bed the night before my 25th Birthday with my husband calling me a "bossy," "nagging" wife who should have dinner at least in the microwave ready for him when he gets home late, again, and strive to please not only his stomach, but his insatiable desire to have sex daily, all without having my 1 true need answered - his presence.


I suppose he simply cannot understand why after he works so hard to provide for his family, why I should have any complaints.


Everything for me came crashing down.


Looking in the mirror at who I had become, and what I had allowed my life to be, I was silently making grave, near catastrophic decisions.

Would I stay married to the man of my dreams for as long as we both shall live? Would I allow my husband to make me feel guilty for not being the bread winner of the family, and yet not being a door mat, and making demands for myself and my family? Would I continue to be the cause of his misery because his hopes have sourly been disappointed at the lack of sex in our marriage, in his opinion? Should I continue to feel alone, with no support, miserable, that I had been deceived in having a partner in marriage, in raising kids only to find out that I'm on my own?

Would I continue to life a lonely existence, without the support of a husband, and father that was promised to me?


I thought about my dreams too.


Of being a writer, an illustrator, an artist. I wasn't going to go another day in this life without working towards these goals, never again. I've always put what I want last.


Before I was married my mother said this to me: "Don't get married. Not now. It's not the right time. You're young, you have to finish school. You'll wind up barefoot and pregnant, and he'll want to be the boss - because he'll be the one supporting you. Get your life straightened out first, get finished with school, make something of yourself, and you be his equal. He grew up with old-fashioned parents, he won't ever be able to see you as an equal unless you put yourself first."


With these words haunting me as I look in the mirror, crying because I feel like my mom had been exactly right. With her no longer here to help console me, to listen to me, or to guide me, I feel terrible alone, and for once I feel silenced.


I think my husband knew it on the day of my Birthday, he saw it in my eyes that it was as though I had died a little - or given up.

I believe that all marriages have their reasons for discord. Ours was sex, and money. While we both have different needs, and expectations, I feel like we have come to a point whether we need to decide whether we go one unhappily, happily, or not at all.


But, I also believe that a person can only go on so long while being ignored.

For my Birthday he had agreed not to buy me anything upon my request, all that I asked for was a little of his time - specifically to help finish a room in our some what neglected house.


He was about to leave for work, and asked if he should go ahead and get the required materials on his way home for the job, and I said that I didn't care.


He could have just let it be, and went about his way. But he didn't, he came home with the supplies anyway, and finished the room completely.

Afterward, he turned to me, and held me, and it was as though I had my old husband back. He asked what was wrong, and for once he really listened.

I told him how I felt, that I didn't want to go another 5 years with him being miserable that he doesn't get enough sex, me being the cause of his misery. I didn't want to be miserable because my kids, and myself don't get to spend enough time with him. I wanted to choose happiness. I asked - what he wanted to choose. Again, I told him my one and only request - that he just be home a little earlier, for dinner, and to help put the kids to bed, every day. That's it.


He choose happiness, too, albeit it's imperfection.

We went out that evening, it had been the first time we'd gone out in a month or so. It was much needed.

I spent a lot of time talking to an older neighbor that had been there as well, and this is what she had to say about marriage:


"Marriage is never perfect. Couples always have their differences, their problems. It's when one person believes that the grass might be greener on the other side, that they aren't satisfied that they are sorely mistaken, because the grass on the other side has it's pitfalls too. It's important to play together, the family that plays together, stays together. Make time for just the two of you, and make your expectations clear."

I repeated all of this to him, and I think we both needed the night out together, and to hear these words. Marriage certainly has it's ups, and downs, and they all certainly make us stronger.

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Strobing His Stuff

Like a kid in a candy store, my husband pranced...dare I say *pranced* across our kitchen floor when he arrived home from work just the other day bearing a small box. The box appeared to house some kind of electronic/man tool/boring thing.

I heeded no concern.

However, hubbie continued to look extraordinarily excited. I wonder at this point - should I be worried?

When he finally set the mysterious box on the counter, I picked it up to get a better look, and to see what all of his excitement was about.

Do you know what it was?


A strobe light.

My husband made a special trip to the hardware store, to buy a strobe light.

What are we hosting a kiddy dance for all the 2, 3, and 4 year-olds in the neighborhood that I don't know about (I don't recall being informed about this monumental event.)


Then, I realize - ahhh, it's almost Halloween!! That's why he got the light. That makes sense, he wants to set the Halloween mood for when the 1...maybe 2 trick-or-treaters come. Oh wait, we won't be home!

What is this silly forsaken thing for anyway, I wonder?

So I ask. Trying not to sound annoyed that he spent money on something frivolous, or concerned about his mental state.

Me: "Dear, why did you buy a strobe light?"

Hubbie: "Just cause."

Me: "Cause....why?" I say, smiling.

Hubbie: "It's Halloween, don't you know."

Me: "Oh I know, well that's great! So why did you buy it?"

Hubbie: "Okay, well when I was younger these babies cost like 100 bucks, and it was on sale, and I always wanted one."

Me: Trying not to laugh my buns off at how geekishly corny, cute he is.

I shake my head, and continue about my business.

Well, I tell you there was so recapitulating of the good Ol' days because of that strobe light, no Sir. No heart felt fond memories of the yesteryear's.

He did not buy it because he always wanted one. As I saw later from my view laying in bed, with my naked hovering husband jiggling, and wiggling his buns in the blinking light - he bought it because he always wanted to dance in the light of a strobe light naked, in front of a woman.

I feel so lucky - Hehum to be that woman. Now turn off the light so you don't fall down, and break something, and so I don't feel like the world is spinning.

This is the good stuff that memories together are made of. This is right up there with the liquorice butt.


Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Naughty Wednesday

I saw this picture, and couldn't resist posting it, as it depicts the excitement that my husband is feeling now that we're.........you'll have to read the next post to find out what!

Have a great day & feel free to link below!

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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The Great Baby Debate

4 years, 5 months, and 17 days ago I became a Mom for the very first time. It was one of the happiest days of my life.

Now I'm a Mom to 3 beautiful, unique, and amazing little men.

Their ages are 4, 2, and now 1 year-old, and while I hear the words "you look like you have your hands full," far more times than I can possibly count as I push my grocery cart full of not only groceries, but children, I'm presently weighing my options of whether or not I should make my hands a little more full, or whether my husband should go ahead and get the snip-snip.

The great baby debate began the day after my youngster's first birthday party. The day that he stood, and declared the words Mama, with his grinning smile, and 6 protruding teeth, and - almost took his first step.

Now, he wants to play with his big brothers all of the time, and all they want to do is play all of the time, that has Mommy (me) feeling a little lonely without a baby to rock, and hold. I'm still so young, and just not sure if I'm comfortable with the thought that my little one year-old, going on 4 might be my last little bundle of joy.


Since I was little, I always thought that when I grew up I would have at least 1 boy, and 1 girl. Reality though, seems to say that this scenario simply isn't in the cards.

I know, and am a big believer in that if the baby is healthy, that's all that matters.

But, I'm thinking ahead...5 years, 10 years from now, am I going to look back, and wish that I had of had just 1 more child, just maybe that it might have been a girl.

I feel so selfish in having this thought.


But, when I look at my little men, and their father, and see how close to Daddy that they are becoming - well, it makes me think of how pretty soon, they're going to all want to do Guy Things, and little Ol' Mommy will be left all alone.

Maybe it's because I was so close with my mom, maybe it's because I lost her so early, that I long for that kind of Mother-Daughter relationship. So far, to no avail.

That isn't to say that my little guys aren't the love of my life, or that I love them any less, because I don't - they mean everything to me.

So, hubbie and I talked, and talked, and revisited this do we, or do we not subject over, and over again.


And, I'm happy to announce that we are not only making love for the sake of making love any more! We are trying to make a baby!!!!

Everyone think pink for me, would ya!?

The panties are coming off tonight Baby!!




Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Caution If You Dare Do It In Public

In Dubai, a popular tourist destination for Britains, a couple have been charged, and sentenced to 3 months in jail for having sex on a public beach according to Yahoo news.

I read the article however, and to my surprise, they were in fact not charged for having sex, but for kissing, etc (which is deemed an indecent act in public in Dubai.)

Dubai is a Muslim region, and according to their laws, it is illegal to perform "indecent acts" such as making out in public. The act of sex out of wedlock is against their laws entirely - in, and out of public.

Whether or not the couple actually had sex is inconclusive.

Reportedly, one of them admitted to having sex on the beach, but then later changed their story. The couple had been drinking heavily apparently.

If this couple had been charged for sex out of wedlock the sentence could have been up to 1 year in prison, plus 3 months for the indecent act.

Their sentence was thought to be light, and there is a chance that both parties in this legal matter may appeal.

What a way to pop your holiday bubble!

One of the first trips that my husband, and I made together was to an exotic place where we did make love on a beach. It was 5 o'clock in the morning, the sun was rising, and no one could be found.

It was just the two of us, the sound of the waves crashing in, sand against our skin, and the smell of the ocean.

We had been staying at a resort, nearly all of the people that were there stayed up extremely late to drink, and party each night.

So, the resort was close to vacant in the early mornings.

The thought had never, in a million years crossed my husband's, or my mind that we might get arrested, or thrown in jail for our little act of love. Now knowing what this couple went through (not that I have sex on public beaches often - I barely make it out of my pajamas, let alone my house now that I'm a Mom of 3), but I am inclined to in future proceed with extreme caution when visiting other countries.

If you're going any where with your partner, it is well advised to look into some of their countries laws, and regulations before you have sex in public, do anything that might be deemed "indecent," or do anything at all - because you never know.


Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Sex Talk for Grown-Ups

How often do you have to have sex in order to be happy in a relationship?

This is a question that leads to an answer that neither my husband, nor I have ever, and may not ever be able to agree upon.

So how important is it that a husband and wife (or partners) be sexually compatible with each other when it comes to the frequency that they have sex?

I don't know. But, I wish I did.

It seems that since the beginning of our marriage - our relationship even, we have never been able to reach a consensus.

I say 5 times a week, and I'm more than happy.

He says once every morning, and once every night - so, 14 times a week, and then he would be happy. But I don't know about that.

It seems that the more he has sex, the more he expects, and the more he wants.

I feel as though I can only do sooo much.

This "Sex Talk" that my husband, and I have had time, and time again has always taken place because sex is something that we disagree on, we argue about, and it's a thorn in our big fat toe called marriage.

Actually, lack of sex in my husband's opinion is what causes the majority of the tension between us. While he says that he is happy, don't ask him if he's happy after a sexless night - he might bite, or rather explode. (This picture would be more appropriate if it read "Beware, Horny Monster.")

He is the most intolerable, cranky, awful person to be around if he hasn't had sex.

Like a Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde. Dr. Love, and Mr. OneEyedMonster.

Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever both be "Happy" in the sex department of our relationship.

The other day, I asked.

I asked what exactly it would take for him to be happy.

Do you know what he said?

"I would be happy if I had sex once in the.....morning, and once at....night.....every day."

Well, what am I supposed to do, lock the kids in their rooms, turn up the radio, and say "yes" to a morning romp?

Am I supposed to sleep all day, while the children trample over my head , toys fly, things break, and poop happens so that I can be awake enough at the end of the day in order to want to have sex?

5 times, 7 times if it's a good week - that's what I feel is realistic.

My husband however, it's like he's on another planet. A planet called Wannabeasinglemanagain.

It hurts my feelings, makes me feel awful inside that I cannot ever satisfy him. That nothing is ever good enough, I'm not good enough.

I told him exactly how it made me feel. Tried to put him in my shoes, asked him how he would feel if I never thought he was good enough, and I reminded him of it each and every day.

He felt badly.

I hope that this sexual imbalance is more caused by our stage in life (3 kids, under 4 years-old, 2 in diapers, 1 still crawling, often waking Mom up in the night) , and not by who we are as individuals. I hope we will outgrow this.

Our Sex Talk went rather well. But, I know it's something that just like how we should give our teens a refresher Sex Talk every now, and again, that we will be revisiting this subject often.

It's the only way that I know of that can allow us to continue to understand each other's needs, feelings, and expectations.

For now, hubbie better learn to love himself a little more, ehhhum. At least until our kids are in school. Otherwise, I'm not sure that our family can tolerate the grumpiness.

Please tell me there's hope for 2 people who love each other to be happy even if their panties are on just a little differently. No my husband does not wear panties. How ever could you presume as much!....neither do I, teeheee. (Too much info, I know.)

That picture, too much info as well - cracks me up, every time!



Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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