Tuesday, November 4, 2008

*R-Rated Post* On Oral

Any squeamish Moms out there, or underage people, please leave this blog now - come back tomorrow when I've posted something a little less racy. I won't be showing any r-rated pictures, but will be grazing on a subject that might have some people feeling uncomfortable, or offended. So if you don't think you can handle it, or you shouldn't be reading this, then see you later.


_________________________


It's a subject that I'm almost certain many of us Moms just don't talk about. For one, many of us don't have people in our lives to talk to about it, and for another, sometimes even if we did, we don't get the chance with our kids around nearly all of the time.

You know, to talk about whatever pops up.

Well, I can remember the very first time that I ever gave a man oral. It was traumatic for me, and so briefly, for you to understand, here's how it went:

I was kissing a boyfriend at the time, and not at all ready for this kind of thing, as he said "I want you to lick my c#&k."

Well, being the shy, sweet little young woman that doesn't swear, that blunt, slightly rude question made me gasp, blush, something curdled in my stomach, and the entire thought of doing that just grossed me out.

Between then, and now I went years with braces on my teeth - anyone who has had them knows that they can cause quite the problem when delving in the field of oral sex. Yikes.

Anyhoo, now that I'm without those mental metal obstructions, am married to a man that I truly love, and know that oral sex is something that is so crucial exciting for him, I want to try my best to please.

But, to be honest - part of me is still a little squeamish. Man do I feel like a baby.

Another part of me is exhausted even by the image of my head bobbing up and down at the end of the day. My head generally only wants to make 1 final motion when the day is through - and that my friend is falling straight back to hit the lovely, cushiony pillow on my bed.

How often should a woman (a Mom) give her partner oral sex?

I hardly have time to floss my teeth, to sit down to eat, to remember to wear deodorant. So how often should I be stroking the Ol' Enchilada with my tonsils, I mean mouth?

And, does anyone ever have trouble doing it!?


Please, if you are going to comment - keep your comments clean. Thank you!



Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

If you like Sex Diaries of a Mom, subscribe to this Sexiness.
Subscribe in a reader

25 comments:

sandi said...

Maybe once a month. i feel about like you do about it. We do the sex thing about 3 times a week, but the ol head bobbing thing only happens about 1 out of 25 times. I have to be in a real nice mood and extremely turned on. If I am blogging in my head, or going through the mental to do list, There is just no way I can stomach it.

I think we are normal in that regard I don't know too many moms who love it.

Chas said...

We actually use it as currency- If I want him to go out of his way to do a favor for me (extra out of the way, not take out the garbage out of the way) then I throw in an "I'm willing to pay up"

It actually works well for both of us- I get something out of it too, I can "pay up" whenever the mood strikes me instead of being begged to, and since I usually keep a running tab, he always has something to look forward to.

And I'm a total prude about talking about this stuff, so I can't believe I'm about to hit post comment.

Mariecel said...

I used to be really squeamish re: oral sex. I found that it helps to suck on a mint while doing it. Doing it in the shower is also nice.

The best, I find, is engaging in that beloved number. You know, 70 minus one... Nothing takes your mind off of your discomfort by being, erm, comforted =)

Mariecel said...

Sorry, I meant:
Nothing takes your mind off of your discomfort better than being comforted.

Lapa37 said...

My man wants it 24/7 I would rather it be 1/365.I sometimes feel like it is a JOB(get it)I don't think I would mind it so much if he didn't want it so much.But I guess it's in their (JEANS) genes to want it and only it.

Ordinary Mom said...

Honestly if I never did it again I wouldn't be disappointed! I ONLY do it to satisfy my DH. That makes it worth it. I don't do it that much at all maybe once a month if that. I'm sure he would like it everyday. In fact, we recently had a bet going on something and he if he was to win he wanted me to do it everynight for two straight weeks!

Rhonda said...

Oh, good grief Ordinary Mom, I hope you won that one! YIKES!

Well, the oral thing is pretty much all I do. BUT not very often. (He's a shift worker, and I'm poked at enough, thank you very much! lol) I hate the "mess" that is left from sex itself and DO NOT want any more kids! And he has yet to get fixed. So, that is the only option.

It's like doing the laundry or cleaning the toilet. It's a chore that I put off as long as I can, but it's nice to have it out of the way for another week!

LIFE,MARRIAGE AND KIDS said...

i love reading your blog,lol...i give my husband oral as much as i want to.he never asks so i always give him one but only when the mood strikes me.

Jenni said...

Mine asks nearly every time we have sex, and I oblige unless I have a very good reason not to (that is, he hasn't showered in two days, or my TMJ is acting up), but he likes to "finish" with intercourse, not oral, so that helps with the ick factor...

April said...

That is the only time I like having TMJ because it gets me out of doing it. He is so scared my jaw will lock (been there, done that) that he doesn't even ask anymore (unless he's had way to many adult beverages).

Cheryl said...

I'm going to be clean here, of course...but I love this. Great topic, Miss Mama. I think a lot of women hate this because they feel "forced". It shouldn't be that way. I can think of a few people in my short list of relationships in the past who I'd say "ewww" to because, well, they weren't exactly neat/clean. However, in a great relationship it's not work or pressure. It should not take a lot of your time...haha...try this and you will have your guy dreaming of u all day: sneak into the bathroom when he's shaving and just out of the shower....i.e. clean...he'll be surprised (lock the door)so he'll race to the finish so much faster...and wow...he'll be singing all day about how great you are ;)

Trust me, it works. I'm just a fan of it because I love seeing a strong man weak..and happy. ;) The payback is awesome.

meandmom said...

Wow! I'm surprised to hear how many women do not enjoy this aspect of intimacy. I love it! I love knowing that I can make him feel so good. Maybe it would help to read a book on different techniques. When I re-entered the dating world after divorcing the man I had been with since I was 18, I was concerned about my technique. Reading information about it helped me feel more confident and I generally have a pleasurable experience.

meandmom said...

Wow! I'm surprised to hear how many women do not enjoy this aspect of intimacy. I love it! I love knowing that I can make him feel so good. Maybe it would help to read a book on different techniques. When I re-entered the dating world after divorcing the man I had been with since I was 18, I was concerned about my technique. Reading information about it helped me feel more confident and I generally have a pleasurable experience.

Straight to Your Hart said...

Well...it is a touchy subject...The Daily Blonde gave good advice...

To change the topic...another chapter??

alana said...

I don’t understand why so many people are uncomfortable talking about this. You should never do anything you don’t feel comfortable with, but this is a great act of intimacy. I don’t do it to my man as much as he would like, but when I do I definitely make the effort.

I think a lot of women turn it into a power issue as some men definitely do and that ruins it for them. I think having open communication is key here. (As it seems to be with everything. lol)

mammadawg.com said...

lol - braces - OMG! I'm - or was - right there with ya!

I am LMAO at Chas' comment - I'd have to say ditto. Definitely like currency. ;)

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

Well, well, well, let's see. I'd say I do the oral deed about every couple of weeks, and I'm pretty unthrilled with doing it as well, and you put it so well:

"My head generally only wants to make 1 final motion when the day is through - and that my friend is falling straight back to hit the lovely, cushiony pillow on my bed."

That's exactly how I feel. However, when I am bright eyed and bushy tailed after having, say, three days without my kids, I really enjoy it because I LOVE making him feel that good. He never bugs me, and only asks every once in a while, but I try to surprise him by just doing it out of the blue now and then. He gives it back to me tenfold, so it all works out in the end.

There are also certain things you can buy out there, ladies, that can make it more comfortable. I was at a sex toy party where they had a thing that you used in your mouth that was supposed to help with the jaw pain. I almost got it, but spent my money elsewhere...lol.

Diamond said...

I reserve it for those rare weekend occasions when the kids are gone, because there is no way you can get something like that done and over with, if there are going to be interruptions!

Bec said...

I loved reading this it is great to know that I am not the only person who finds this a bit of a chore. I agree with several readers other comments such as being pushed into it, this only makes me want to rebel. I also think the magical number thing works a treat.
I am not sure if I want to share this, at risk of embarressment but I will anyway. I will also try and put it as nicely as possible. When i was pressured into it with my first boyfriend I wasn't sure if I was doing it right etc, then without ANY warning ......... I gagged then vomitted all over him. I guess that taught him never to ........ without warning again.

My best advise would be only do it when you want to, don't let him guilt you into it, and make sure your getting some benifits in return. But most of all enjoy it because he does.
HAVE FUN!!

Zen.Mama said...

I have to agree with Chas - I use it as currency as well with my husband. Usually if I want something to go my way, I'll offer him a "professional" - that's our name for it in case the kids are eavesdropping!

Bellesouth said...

Count me in as one of the ladies who is astonished by how many men aren't into it.

I guess for me, it all depends on whether or not the guy is either willing to reciprocate, or, better yet, offer to do his part first.

It can be a very enjoyable and very intimate act, but fellas need to hold off and not just demand it of their women.

I'm sorry to all women who have had bad experiences with this - which includes myself - but as others have said, it can work!!!

dhw said...

ROTFLMAO!!!!!
My hubby asks for a good ol'blow job ALL the time. Does it get it as much as he wants too. No way!!! He has no problem giving "it" to me and does without being asked. He enjoys it more then I do, I think. I just don't always feel like bobbing my head on him. OMG..I am in love with your blog. It ROCKS!!!

Jennifer said...

I don't like doing it much at all! I will only do it when the favor is being returned, if you know what I mean! I'm sure others feel the same! If I have to do it, then you better be doing it too!!! I love your blog, this is my first day to visit and I've got to do some catching up! On a side note, this "job" is not the easiest task when the "tool" is bigger than the average "craftsman"! Hope that wasn't too racy! Thanks for letting me visit!

sexy.past.seeks.stable.future said...

I like seeing what women with a few years of marriage under their belts have to say on this topic! I generally love to give (and receive which happens at least as often), but it could be because we're still in that honeymoon stage :)

p.s. stumbled across this blog today, very fun considering the only mom I know personally is my sister and she doesn't have the best sex life...

Kira Alexandria Darvulia: said...

Rarely! He doesn't go out of his way to do ANYTHING for me in bed (anything at all, however minor hug/kiss ANYTHING) so i've pretty much written those out of my life. (haha).