Before I begin my blogging marathon....I need to do a little housekeeping.
While I was away, to my dismay I received my very first negative comment. And, seeing as how I have celebrated all of Sex Diaries of a Mom's 1sts, I thought that I shouldn't miss the opportunity to celebrate - okay to eliminate this one.
Speaking of which, if anyone knows how to delete comments - without moderating them, let me know!
Quite honestly, the comment left me feeling disappointed that some people can be so mean. I try to be nice to everyone, not because I want to put on a facade, but because I strongly believe that you should treat others the way that you would want to be treated.
The comment was left after my post Here, There, and Every Where. In a nut shell, the person that left the comment was angry at myself, and the enthusiastic readers of this blog for being "neglectful wives," and for being "shallow." This person also badgered a few people specifically, and said that our husbands/partners are all likely to want to see if the grass is in fact greener on the other side.
Since I can't delete the comment, and I do care about my readers, and fellow Mom bloggers, I feel the need to set this commenter straight.
First of all, the Mom bloggers who have contributed to Sex Diaries of a Mom, are nothing less than spectacular women; some wives, some partners, some single women. They are Moms. They are women who do more - for themselves, for their kids, for their significant others if they have one, and for their fellow Moms every day by sharing their stories, and supporting one another.
None deserve to be commented at in a disrespectful manner - and anyone who does so is not welcome here at Sex Diaries of a Mom.
Thank you everyone who has been supportive, kind, and just plain awesome.
Never once have I, or will you notice that I call anyone names. I think that it's mean. I may make reference to my husband as a "monster," or "Mr. Grumpy Pants." But he, and I both know that it's in good fun. He reads every word of what I write, and quite often chuckles while reading every sentence.
In fact, in our relationship, and in life, we strongly believe that you shouldn't disrespect people by calling them names, especially out of anger.
I started writing this blog because I wanted to share with other Moms what sex as a Mom can really be like - and in case anyone missed it....it's all in good, plain fun.
Life should be fun.
Many women, including myself have no one to talk about the trials and tribulations of motherhood - and sex. For many of us, it's a topic that is often ignored, and subdued.
I'm not out to get my husband, or to sabotage his sex life. The reality of motherhood is that sometimes, and I repeat sometimes sex just isn't an option. Period.
It's often disheartening for both the men, and the women in a relationship when sex is lacking. I do truly believe in the importance of sex in a marriage, in the importance of intimacy, and of showing your partner the love that they deserve.
The reality of motherhood though, especially with children who are very small however, is that often your sex life isn't like it used to be - or how it will become when they get older.
This doesn't mean that any new Mom should feel victim to a possible adulterous relationship because of their being sexually neglectful to their partners, or their partners feeling unloved, and not sexually satisfied though. I think that this is a statement that is insulting, and extremely inaccurate.
Any man who is a father, and who is of a good character in the first place should want to be understanding, and loving toward the mother of their children. When times get tough, and sometimes sex isn't the first priority in life, both partners should support each other, be understanding, and continue to love each other anyway.
The sex life of a Mom has its ups, and its downs. As does marriage. But, those who take their wedding vows seriously, and do truly love their partners, are in it for better, or for worse.
There is nothing "worse" about motherhood - it's a beautiful, natural part of life. Its tribulations are simply just a whole lot of poop, but in a different pile.
I don't think that anyone should judge people, make assumptions, or be unnecessarily mean towards another person.
It's important to also point out that not all men go out, and slave away for their wives, and children. And, although my husband does work hard to provide for his family. I work equally hard, and I am entitled to equal rights to have my needs met as well. If that means getting sleep as opposed to sex, so be it. It's not to spite him - it's because he loves, and understands what I need as well.
I won't judge, or assume why this person commented the way that they did.
And, by the way. After I read the comment - just to make it abundantly clear, I went to bed with my husband, and looked after him so well that I made his eyes pop out of his head. Oh, and it wouldn't be the first, and it won't be the last time that I do this.
Also, did you know that anger, or aggression is sometimes associated with the lack of sex? It's a hormonal thing. So maybe certain people would be a whole lot less grumpy if they were getting lucky more often - hehummm.