Sunday, August 24, 2008

2 In The Bed And The Little One Said, Roll Over

Moms can all certainly attest to trying to be intimate with their partner, and just as things are finally getting steamy, being interrupted by a little person who on cue comes into the room.

I can remember laying in bed kissing, when all of a sudden right behind my head, I heard:

"Mommy, I had a bed dream."

I almost peed the bed, and bit off my husband's lip.

What's worse though, is when the kids come into our room, walk right up to the bed, and stand there quietly.

Call me crazy, but I have visions of the Chucky movie in my head - I think it has something to do with the height of my kids, and seeing their silhouette in the I am such a scaredy cat.

My husband, was probably thinking, "Go play with the scary monster in your bedroom that you dreamt about, cause Mom and I are busy."

But, when my kids have a bad dream, I like to cuddle with them for a few minutes, say goodnight, and tuck them back into their own beds.

With 3 kids, between baby crying, 2 year-old wandering around the house aimlessly, and 4 year-old's bad dreams, sometimes being intimate is next to impossible.

What's more, is how it makes a Mom feel.

I know that when I'm laying in bed with my husband, I'm often peering over his shoulder out into the hallway, waiting for someone to appear. In the back of my mind, all I can think of is, "Are we going to have a 2 or 3-foot tall audience tonight, should I prepare myself for being startled?"

My husband will sometimes turn to me, and ask "What are you thinking about?" Or, "Why are you not into this?"

He doesn't understand that I don't want to scar my children by having them catch us having sex. And, that wondering if I'm going to be caught off guard by a mini human being is enough to have a Mom feeling tense.

I don't like the thought of having spectators, especially my children. It has me cringing, and feeling like I ought to do whatever I can to prevent it from happening.

So what do you do?

You certainly can't predict how kids are going to act. I get no warning most of the time when my kids come into our room because they creep so quietly around - in fact, sometimes I wonder how they can navigate so quietly around in the pitch dark.

I also don't like to close the door because, then I really can't hear them, and worry that they might try to get open the gate at the top of our stairs, and fall down.

Our solution...

Either we make love downstairs, where we can hear the pitter patter of little feet walking around, or we leave our door open with the lights turned off.

I prefer the first, because then at least I can hear them coming before I see them.

But, my guard will never be down, and I'm not ready to have the "birds and the bees" talk with my 4 year-old just yet.

So until our kids know that they have to knock before coming into our room, and I can finally feel comfortable shutting our door, hubbie is going to have to accept that I'm not going to be playing the role of Passionate, Sex Goddess Woman, but rather Mom who can still be sexy, and yes does have her mind on a few other things at the same time.

Better than a blow up doll anyway, right?


Mama of Romance

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Petra said...

God, I have the same problem! It's so hard to concentrate on having an orgasm (cause you know you have to concentrate on that shit) when you are worrying about being interrupted! And yes, those kids are so freakin' stealthy, it's amazing how quiet they can be at night when during the day they blow the roof off the house!

Petula said...

Yea, better than a blow up doll! :D Well, my 4 year old has learned to knock; however, my husband and I aren't together any longer so it's a little late for that. What about closing and locking the door for a short period of time... you know, during the pivotal moment! But, you're right, downstairs is a good idea too.

Melanie said...

Oh, oldest (they all really are,but) she came in all stealth like and when we realized she was there...she says, "what you doing there?"..moment GONE...That was years ago, but that memory lives on. We tried locking the door but they would just start banging on it, however it is the only way and for now, I'd rather hear the banging, then them batman like coming in. What we sacrific as parents!!! Gotta good laugh with this post...thanks.