Our Family Portrait

Create your own family sticker graphic at pYzam.com

I got this idea from the lovely Kelly of The Neurotic Mom - her blog is just awesome, give her a visit!

Sassy Saturday

This coming weekend is very exciting, and very emotional for me - my youngest, little, baby is turning 1.

I'll soon have 3 little guys running around, playing, growing up, and no little baby to hold in my arms any more.

In preparation, I'm getting ready for his party, and posting for this weekend ahead of time since I'll be going none-stop until Monday.

I found this amazing little tidbit of history over at Boo's blog Kicking and Screaming, and thought it was a little sassy, so here you go.

I so do not qualify as a good 1955 housewife!!

Thank you very much Housekeeping Monthly for bringing to my attention that I should tighten my apron straps to the point of near suffocation, get out the good old duck tape while I'm at it, and smack a piece across my mouth. Because, otherwise I might not be able to follow any of these rules that were clearly written my a man (I hope.)

I typed it out because it was hard to read (or just click on the image, and it will show up larger):

_____________________________________

The good wife’s guide - Housekeeping Monthly, 1955

- Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

- Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

- Be a little gay, and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

- Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house jut before your husband arrives.

- Gather up school books, toys, paper, etc and then run a dust cloth over the tables.

- Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a little too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

- Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

- Be happy to see him.

- Greet him with a warm smile and show your sincerity to your desire to please him.

- Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

- Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure ans his very real need to be at home and relax.

- Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

- Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.

- Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as a minor complaint to what he might have gone through that day.

- Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or hot drink ready for him.
Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

- Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house, and as such will always exercise his will fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

- A good wife always knows her place.

__________________________________

The part about no worries if he comes home late, or not at all.....his thoughts are more important than yours....not to ever question him - that so would not fly in our home.

My goodness, it is my luck I was born to be a wife in the 21st century! Otherwise I'm not sure I would have survived. I can picture it - I'd be a real wild women according to onlookers, shunned, someone who all the other men would keep their wives away from for fear I might turn them on their husbands.

In my rebellion, I would write books, and publish them in the black market (if there was such a thing, perhaps under a pen name) all about how women should break free of living as slaves to their husbands.

OMG I could go on forever about this article!

While there may be some good points about how to be a good housewife here, I'm pretty sure I'll just stick with what my mom taught me:

Treat others the way that you want to be treated. Say "I Love You" often, very often. Work as a team. Speak your mind. Never call people names. Stand up for what you believe in. Love your family like no other. Treasure friends, and family. If you're going to do something, do it right. Be passionate about all that you do. Live your dreams.

Don't forget to go on over and check out Boo's blog, it's great.

Happy Weekend everyone!

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Add Your Blog Link

I still have a bit of tweaking to to with this blog to make it look the way that I want. I am a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to artsy things.

I'd like to invite any of my awesome Mom blogger readers out there, or other readers as well to add your links to Sex Diaries of a Mom. It would be nice to read some new blogs, and I have saved a huge section to devote to listings for other blogs - now that I have that 3rd column!

Link below if you're going to link back, and I'll add you to my sidebar as well.





You can also add your link to Mom Helping Moms, there is a spot on their homepage, and as well there will be a whole page devoted to Mom blogs (email me at mamaofromance@yahoo.ca).

Thanks!

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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A New Look

I finally reached my goal of adding a 3rd column to my blog!! I am very excited about it.

Here's a great set of intructions if you're using Blogger to add the 3rd column to your blog for all those out there who are like me (technologically impaired.)

It was so easy, and I'm so grateful for the creator of this simple, and effective tutorial! Thank you!

Now, to go along with the wider blog, the header that I had before was just too narrow...so I went about changing it. I ended up changing it quite a bit.

Here's what Sex Diaries of a Mom used to look like....

Please give me some feedback on the new header, and as to whether it should be a keeper, or not. I can always stick with the original, and make it wider as well. I'm undecided.

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Sex News: Natural Viagra

Look out billion dollar pharmaceutical companies, look out Viagra share holders, here comes the Chinese herbal remedy called Horny Goat weed!

I am not kidding. What a name, and it may be no joke.

It is also referred to as Epimedium, Barrenwort, Bishop's Hat, Fairy Wings, or Yin Yang Huo.

I read on Yahoo News (see article here) that Horny Goat weed is a promising alternative to Viagra for impotent men according to Italian researchers.

For centuries this natural herb has been known to be a natural aphrodisiac. And, according to Mario Dell'Agli, a researcher at the University of Milan it "could lead to new drugs to help men get erections."

He continued: "This could be the natural Viagra," he said in a telephone interview. "The novelty is that we have synthesized a new molecule that one day may be able to replace Viagra."

Erectile dysfunction is a common condition worldwide, and while there are drugs that can help this condition by increasing blood flow to the genitals, Horny Goat weed is a promising natural remedy that may not be as intrusive for those who are aiming to take a more natural, lower risk approach.

Many of the medicines that are on the market can have serious side effects ranging from headaches, upset stomach, and visual problems including blindness.

I found an article by the FDA here about cases where Viagra (also known as Sidenafil or sidenafil citrate) which has even caused people to have a decrease in their ability to hear.

The Italian researchers therefore looked for alternatives by studying a number of plants reputed to boost sexual performance.

Upon studying Horny Goat weed specifically, researchers began to modify a compound in the plant called icariin, finding that it blocked the erection-inhibiting enzyme as well as Viagra.

According to Dell'Agli, since it targets the enzyme so precisely, it may have fewer side effects than Viagra.

Further testing is needed of course, but for now Horny Goat weed will remain a likely, and promising natural remedy for erectile dysfunction that has fewer side effects.

After these recent laboratory studies, and those that will no doubt proceed, it will be a good solution for many individuals with erectile dysfunction, and poor libidos.

The original article can be found here. (Reporting by Michael Kahn; Editing by Maggie Fox and Elizabeth Piper)

I wonder if this Horny Goat weed will work for women too? Hmmmm...


I checked, and it seems that it's presence is all over the place on the internet. It looks like Horny Goat weed is coming in pills, and bottles of all different colours, shapes, and sizes for men, and for women.

I wonder if it works? Anyone tried it?



Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Like A Dog In His Own House

How many words does it take to make your sex drive flatten out to absolutely zilch?

The night before last it took exactly 7.

When after a long day of changing stinky diapers, looking after my kids who were extra fussy, and cleaning up puppy poo, after puppy poo. (What was I thinking when we got not 2, not 3, but 4 dogs?! I must be mad.)

Anyhow, exhausted I lay in bed, still a little sick, and having just fallen asleep.

My husband leaps into bed, strips the covers off me, it's freezing cold, and starts frantically tugging at my pajamas.

Are they on fire? What?

I am awake (now), as the bright bedroom lights are blinding me, and the cold air hits me like a ton of bricks. Slightly irritated, and very awake, I manage to keep my pajamas on, trying not to freeze to death.

The unnecessarily fast, and eager tugging at me wasn't so bad.

What was bad, was when he muttered in a joking fashion the following while wrapping his arms around me, and starting to dry - well, hump my legs from behind as I lay on my side:

"I'm doing it like our dog does." He says.

I'm now being shook frantically in our bed.

Still being shook. What is the plan here anyway?

He was making reference to how our little male dog humps our two female ones. Wow.

What a great come-on.

Come on!??? Do I not deserve just a little romance. Forget romance for a minute I would take plain old politeness.

As the image of our gross little, filthy dog who poops every where is flashing in my mind (I like the dog, but he can be super gross), I quickly get out of bed, and dash for the only place that I can have some privacy - the bathroom.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and okay, forget about privacy, my husband is now sitting on a towel on our bathroom floor not 2 feet beside me as I pee.

He must be frozen I think.

I get it, he's playing the eager puppy card.

Not only have I awoken to a terrible dream where my husband has morphed into a dirty, horny dog, but now he is stalking me around the house, and there is no escape!

My head bowed, hair all a mess in my hands. I lift my head to look at him, and say "Honey, can I please just have a little privacy?"

So he left the room, and I started shaking my head.

He runs back into the bathroom.

"I saw you shaking your head. What's that all about? Are you mad at me or something?" He asks.

I'm now beginning to wonder if my husband has all of a sudden shrunk in age or something. I feel like I'm in a relationship tonight with a nervous, excited teenager who is as smooth as crunchy peanut butter.

"Honey, I just need a minute. Please go back to bed, I'll be up in a minute." I say.

He leaves.

I try to shake off the "I'm so not in the mood, at all, ever, in this century" feeling I am having, as I continue to shake my head.

I meander towards the bedroom, stopping at the stairs, looking up into the darkness.

I say to myself "Okay, I know he wasn't the most romantic man tonight. What am I saying, he was plain immature, yucky, ew, oh man that was the suckiest seduction I've ever experienced. Alright, forget that. Yes, forget the dog thing. No more dog. He's him, my wonderful, handsome, sweet, loving husband. I love him. I'm married to him - I've married a pervert, oh no - I mean, a great man. Okay, I'm going to just go up there, and we'll start over. I can do this. I love him."

I walk upstairs, into our room.

"Honey, don't ever try to seduce me like that again, please. And, when someone says they need some privacy, could you please just allow them the same treatment that you would expect? Thanks."

I got into bed, and he apologized.

I could tell that he felt terrible for being, what he called - "such an idiot."

Those are his words, and mine, I mean - just his, haha.

He morphed back into my husband, and it was all uphill from there.

Fewf.

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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Chapter Five

I invite you to read Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, and Chapter Four if you haven't already, and if would like to follow along with the story.

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From the moment I wake the following morning, all I’m able to think about is Mom, and what she went through. Now, sitting beside her, I watch as the nurse in the yellow uniform comes to take her away. I’m not allowed to go with her this time. She’ll be fastened to a device that will prevent her from moving at all, and they’ll give her an intense dose of radiation. So upset, my head drops back, and my eyes close.

I think of how she’s already been through so much. She’s the bravest person I know. It doesn’t seem like it was very long ago, I was running around carelessly, with the other kids in the park in front of the museum. There were dinosaur statues amongst the trees, and bushes. It was such a beautiful day. So as not to spend the entire summer with Dad, I went to camp from the time I was four, until I was fourteen. I didn’t mind going to camp though, I enjoyed spending the extra time riding in the car with Mom. After camp everyday, she’d buy me hot chocolate from the vending machine.

This particular day, we were all playing capture the flag in the park. I was running around trying not to get tagged, when suddenly I stopped, and stared up ahead. I knew right away that something was wrong. Mom was walking towards me from a distance. She never picked me up early from camp. I could see tears welling up in her eyes as she knelt down in before me, taking my hand.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I have some bad news,“ she paused, and then continued “and some good news. Which do you want to hear first?”

“The bad, I guess.” I answered.

“I have breast cancer.” She said calmly. I could tell she was trying really hard not to lose it. I didn’t know anyone who had cancer. I knew what it was, and I knew that it was really bad. I started to cry, falling into her arms. We stood under that tree, in the park, crying for a long time, until Mom continued to speak choppily:

“The good news is: they caught it early, and they think that after surgery, and radiation, I’ll be all better. I can beat it.” She finished. As much as she thought that that was good news, it wasn’t.

The fact was, there was a chance that she might not be alright, and to me that was devastating. I couldn’t stop crying, and I prayed with all my might that she would get better.

The day of her surgery my aunt took me shopping, to try to get my mind off of things, but all we could both think about was mom, and so we ended up standing in the middle of a department store, beside the bath towels, holding each other, and crying our eyes out.

Mom made it out of surgery, and through her radiation treatments. She made it through the first year, and then seven: she was in remission. We were all so happy. Life was good, almost.She had a hard life. She grew up on a farm, in a family of five with very little money. In the morning before school she worked, then went to school, came home, and worked some more. Even doing her brother’s chores, so in return he’d let her borrow his car. At sixteen, she graduated grade twelve, and started working as a secretary in the city. The best way to describe her, would be to say that she was full of passion. Her lifer for good, or bad unfolded passionately.

Falling in love in her teens with a farmer who lived nearby, she got married at twenty. Her mother-in-law hated her, but she didn‘t care. They were only married a few years, when he drowned. She thought her life was over. She told me one time that a total stranger in a public washroom saved her life.

She went on working, had many good friends along the way, and met my father a decade and a half later. They got married almost right away. The week before the wedding, he punched a hole in the wall. Mom should have broke it off then, but then I guess I wouldn‘t be here.

She tried to change him over, and over again. “People can only change when they decide they want to change themselves, and that is something that happens very seldomely.” I remember her saying. The first time my father hit my mother, she scratched the side of his face so badly it looked like an animal with huge claws might have been responsible for the marks - I’m not sure how he explained the injury to his colleagues at work. My parents were together for five years before my mom had had enough of her abusive, alcoholic husband.

His promise to me to quit drinking when I was around didn’t last very long, and he pathetically started to try to hide his terrible habit. He must have thought I was an idiot. I could hear the clinking of the ice cubes in his glass, the pouring of the scotch at seven in the morning, I knew he kept the glass tucked behind a stack of newspapers right beside his armchair, and I knew he hid the scotch behind the cereal boxes I didn‘t like.

After almost twelve years of hardly speaking, my parents decided to be friends. Even though they lived apart, Mom would do my father’s laundry, and cook for him often. He never showed any appreciation, and when his drinking got really bad, I felt really sorry for her, that she choose to continue to tolerate it after all these years. I grew up, finished high school, and fell in love myself, not surprisingly to someone who doesn’t drink at all, and who is totally unlike my father.

Not yet finished university, I got engaged. My dad quit drinking this past year, and promised me he would walk me down the aisle. I still have my doubts. With me moving out, Mom decided to sell her house, rid herself of the debts she’d had my whole life, and move in with my father to save money to finally retire. I thought she was crazy, but she couldn’t think of any other way.

She just started living with him, when she found out she had cancer again, and only had a few months left to live. She’d been a secretary for thirty years, and for thirty years she smoked cigarettes. I’ve been taking her to all her treatments ever since. I know I’m losing her, but if I could have just one single wish, it would be that she could be at my wedding, if there's going to be a wedding.

_____________________________________

That was Chapter Five, of the story. I will post the next Chapter in a day, or two.

All the Chapters will be available along the sidebar as I post them.

I would love some feedback, good or bad. Thank you for reading along with the story.

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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