Junk in My Trunk

As I bent over to pick up some dirty clothes off of the floor, and head toward the laundry room with them, I catch my husband staring at me.

Of all days, today I look...well, like a slob.

And, I know it.

I don't often just not care what I look like, but every rare occasion I just don't have any gusto left to fiddle with my hair, or get all dressed up.

Besides, I had in mind to tackle a million things around the house, all of which would render me even more dirty, and slobbish looking.

Hubbie is still staring. He doesn't really look like he's happy, sad, mad, annoyed. Just a blank expression.

Straight away, I think to myself, oh gosh he must think I'm gross. Or fat. One or the other.

"What are you looking at?" I ask as he continues to stare.

He says, "Just at the junk in your trunk."

WHAT? Okay, so he does think I'm fat! I think to myself.

"What do you mean, the junk in my trunk?" I ask, now slightly perturbed.

"You know, the junk in your trunk." He repeats.

This conversation is going no where fast.

"Alright, are you saying that I'm fat? Cause you know, if you had 3 kids in 4 years I don't think you'd be looking like a hot skinny super model either." I protest.

He bows his head, and chuckles. "No, no, I think you're pretty, I'm admiring the junk in your trunk."

This still isn't making me feel any better.

"Alright, so you like that my butt is huge, thanks, thanks a lot. That makes me feel much better."

I don't normally get caught up in these "Am I fat? moments."

"No, I don't think you're fat, I'm admiring your junk - you know your boobs, and your snatch." He says.

I burst out laughing.

What!? I can't believe he just said snatch.

"Dear, junk in someones trunk, that means their big butt." I attempt to clarify.

"No, it means privates." He argues.

"No...." and we have a little friendly argument about the meaning of "Junk in my trunk."

When I think about it, the song "I like big butts" comes to mind.

Who knows though with all this lingo that changes practically daily.

I should start a poll for everyone to vote. Does "junk in your trunk" mean the fat in your butt, or your private parts? You tell me, apparently I'm out of the loop, but thankful that my husband doesn't think that I have a huge butt - to my knowledge anyhow.

Sincerely,

Mama of Romance
xoxo

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