Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Words from Mr. Romance

Some things that you might want to know about me, Mr. Romance (the name my wife, not me chose. You can call me whatever you want, but don't call me late for having sex.)…

Oh, and before I get started - I'm supposed to say if anyone is squeamish about sex, please come back again another time.

I like boobies, and I like pussy cats. These are some of the many things that I like about sex. I just like having sex because it feels good on my dinky. One thing that I really miss aside from the occasional frequent lack of sex, is nursing from my wife’s breasts, which is something that she won’t let me do anymore. I like nipples, and having them in my mouth. One of my favourite activities is giving my wife oral sex, but it’s nice to do so when she keeps herself neat (no clitty litter.) I also like admiring my wife when’s she’s naked.

About my sex life…

Sex life, hmmmm, I wish that I had one, that I could have sex right now, but instead I‘m writing this post for my pretty wife. I like what it says in a picture on her blog that “bad sex is better than a good day at work.” I’d take sex over work, or anything any day. Unfortunately, I have sex about an eighth as much as I would like to now that I’m married, and have 3 kids. But, I like having little mini versions of myself running around so it‘s all good. I feel that everybody should have 5 orgasms per day. It’s true. That’s how I feel.

Inner Desire…

Part of me wishes that I could be a porn star, I uh wouldn’t want to lose my dignity though. And, I wouldn’t want to make my wife sad. If I was a porn star I could only have sex with my wife. So, I settle for a home made movie now and again - hopefully again.

When asked “If you could tell all the Moms out there one thing, what would it be?” I say - give blow jobs, and give them often. Don’t be afraid to be on top sometimes.

When asked “How do you keep the romance alive?” I say - talk dirty, don’t keep your hands to yourself, and flashing.

When asked “How do you cope with the sometimes lack of sex?” I say - Well, I uh, use my energy on other things like work, playing with the kids, or working on the house. But, when I’m distracted by my wife, whom I’m very attracted to, I find it difficult to not want to have sex.

And, I really want to know when my wife is going to host a wet t-shirt contest on her blog, I’ll take the pictures. (Of my wife, of course.) No offense intended with this picture, I just think it's funny, and it's not my wife by the way.

Hooray for boobies!

Can I have sex now?

Mr. Romance

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13 comments:

Lapa37 said...

Well hello Mr Romance how's it hanging? lol That was a great look into the mind of a man thanks for sharing.I hope that doing this post gets you that blow job you long for.Good luck with getting some sex today and when is the wet t shirt contest?So I know not to stop by that day.lol

Hohni said...

ROTFLMAO!!!!

MBB Founder and Editor Denene Millner said...

OMG--I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!! (Um, did my husband sneak and write this?! Oh, wait... he would write that he loves booties... but I digress.) It's nice to get into the, um, mind of a man... keep it, er, coming!

alana said...

Very entertaining. I especially liked where he answered direct questions.

It’d be interesting to see what sex tips from the male's perspective he might have. :)

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

Are you sure this isn't MY husband? Seems like a lot of ladies have similar versions of him in their house and it's getting me concerned...

this was hilarious. srsly.

Gayle said...

A little too much info for my very clean eyeballs. But I gotta admire the honesty here. Here's hoping you have so much sex that you decide you want to skip a day. I bet that's a whole lot.

ImitationAngel said...

That was funny and sweet all rolled up into one. I like seeing an honest male opinion about the subject. I do with Alana in wanting to see what tips he would give from a male perspective.

Straight to Your Hart said...

That last comment...Can I have sex now???..is an everyday question LOL.. That funny "in bed" after someone makes a comment...I need my back rubbed.."in bed." I want a coke..."in bed."

Now replace with "Can I have sex now?" So..my hubby does get lucky with that statement every now and again..cause he's so D$#@ cute when he says it. I'm a sucker for the puppy dog eyes (my kids have that mastered)!

Thanks for posting...hubby says Hooray for Boobies...Mr. Romance (not his boobies).."Can I have sex now?" LOL

Jennifer said...

This is the first time I've visited this blog and wow what a post to run into! LOL! I love it! It's so nice when people can be brutally honest! Keep it up and I'll be sure to some back to read more!

Anonymous said...

this is one of the funniest things i have read in a long time! totally on topic and yet seemingly random. i can't wait to hear from mr. romance again!!!

oh, and btw, i'm doing something new over on my blog. come check it out!

Unknown said...

Your husband is hilarious! Nursing from boobs - with milk? Not my cup of tea but whatever floats your sexual boat do it!

Love the post looking forward to the next installment.

Mommy In Pink said...

LOL! Sounds like my hubby...he loves boobies so much I bought bigger ones twice...this cracked me up...thanks!

Unknown said...

OMG this post is hilarious. I love "mama" but you may have given her a run for her money with this post.